Everybody's gonna love today!

Respect Conventions or SUFFER

2012-01-23T22:05:00.000-08:00

There is an enormously in depth discussion I could get into about when it is and is not appropriate to follow social conventions. It's kind of a hot topic right now. I was thinking about it while walking on campus today and I had this thought - if you can't respect certain social conventions, at least respect the fact that I DO.

This was not brought on by some deep and prevalent social issue. I really just want people to walk on the correct side of the sidewalk. Or hall. Or stairs. It's easy, really. Just do it. It's silly to get in EVERYBODY'S way and bug the crap out of people. Seriously. Maybe I am being petty, but grumble grumble grumble......the fact that I was literally stopped on the stairs because there were too many people going the wrong way causing was a traffic jam is not okay. Maybe being stopped for a second, I get that. There are a bajillion people. But when the flow of people is brought to a complete standstill? Someone is doing something silly. And by silly I mean stupid.

Misconceptions about Hawaii - Part: The First

2011-05-18T23:50:00.000-07:00

I just barely got back from a 10 day long trip to Hawaii. It was beautiful, fantastic, all the adjectives you can think of that make you disgustingly jealous, and then some. It was like New York City, but in another country. I felt like I was no longer in the United States. I loved it.

One of the most surprising things, to me, was the culture shock. In fact, it was the lack of Hawaiian culture. Don't get me wrong, there was plenty Hawaiian culture to go around. I had just expected to see many more islanders walking around speaking in a language I couldn't understand. Well, sure enough, everyone WAS speaking in a language I couldn't understand, it just wasn't Hawaiian. What surprised me the most about Hawaii was the high number of Asian tourists and residents.

I guess I shouldn't be entirely surprised. Hawaii is a widely publicised tourist destination, and many of the visitors were there to see the Pearl Harbor Memorial, which makes sense....but still.

Anyhow, there were a lot of Asian couples wandering the streets. And lots of little Asian babies. I can't get over how cute Asian babies are!! No offense to all you white babies, I was one too, but there's no beating this:

Seriously, how cute is that? Another thing that just simply made me giggle was the number of matching Asian couples. I know it's a trend (I guess), but I was still shocked at how many of the guys actually went along with it. Everyone I was travelling with agreed that it was disgustingly adorable. Everytime we saw one we all wanted to squeal. And then freak out because we were grossed out by the fact that we thought it was so freaking cute.

But ya, biggest surprise to me was the sheer number of Asian people wandering the streets of Hawaii, getting married on the beach, taking their children to Denny's, etc. Threw me off a bit, but I loved it.

Word of the Day - May 18, 2011

2011-05-18T23:30:00.000-07:00

Today's word of the day is brought to you by the letter 4.

"Smeshial"

(smeh-shull)

When special just isn't enough.

Let's Go to Japan vs. Italian Rain

2011-02-27T21:57:00.000-08:00

I've been seriously contemplating participating in a Study Abroad program, and after attending a conference to fish out some information at the U, I feel like it might actually be a strong possibility. I would like to go Fall of 2012, assuming I bring my GPA back up to where it should be in the first place....And assuming I can save enough money to get out there.

In all my pondering of Study Abroad throughout my school years, I have always had Japan as the number one place I would like to go; however, after attending that conference at the U, I am starting to feel really good about going to Italy. I would still absolutely love to go to Japan, but the more I think about Italy, the better of a decision it seems. Still, it's been a toss-up for a while. I still haven't completely decided, but learning Italian for my major would probably be better than Japanese, and I have every intention of learning Japanese regardless. Plus, I've already traveled to 2 Asian countries, while I've been to absolutely no European countries. I know it will be a whole different cultural ballpark.

So for now, I'm still on the fence, but I'm definitely leaning toward Italy.

The ultimate decision. Japan or Italy? Japan?......or Italy?..........

Japan?

or Italy?

It's What You Need

2011-02-27T21:38:00.000-08:00

10 things that I love about my family are:

1-That they are just as weird as I am.

2-That we are all good at different things and complement each other's personalities.

3-That we all have a good time playing board games for hours on end.

4-That we can go on a vacation and have just as much fun spending time with each other as we could sight-seeing and going out every day.

5-That we are almost all the same age mentally, haha.

6-That I will always have a place to go no matter what happens or what choices I make.

7-That I will always have people to turn to when I'm upset, even if it's just by phone.

8-That I will forever know that someone out there thinks the same way I do.

9-That I can learn from their mistakes, as well as my own.

10-That I will have these people in my life forever.

Happiness

2011-02-25T23:46:00.000-08:00

10 things that make me happy are:

1-Using complicated words incorrectly and seeing people nod as if they know what I'm talking about. I've decided they either don't know any better or they can just read between the lines and know what I mean despite everything.

2-Playing sentimental games from my childhood. Music from Zelda kind of makes me want to cry sometimes.

3-Validation/Hearing someone tell me exactly what I need to hear. Whenever I feel like I'm not doing as good a job as I should, someone invariably comments in such a way that I'm able to figure out where I stand.

4-Laying in bed late at night listening to enya on my ipod. Love. Especially if I just showered. Clean, comfortable, warm, awesome.

5-Finally finding time to do things with friends. It always seems like a hassle and such a time consuming task, but when I actually do it it's so simple and fun that I wonder why I don't do it more often.

6-Getting a lot of really small things crossed off my to-do list that have been nagging at me for weeks.

7-Figuring out what path I need to take. Whether it's with school, work, dealing with a problem, or with friends, it's always a relief to figure something out and feel good about a decision.

8-Feeling prepared for something. I hardly ever am, but when I am it's fantastic.

9-Music. All of it. Love it. Want to eat it, occasionally do. What?

10-Randomly friendly people. While it may be incredibly awkward to have a complete stranger walk up to you and say something that seems totally arbitrary, it almost always makes me smile. People who are confident enough with themselves to interact in a positive way with those they don't know make me incredibly hopeful for mankind.

Tron: Where Love and Escape Do Not Compute

2010-12-19T21:45:00.000-08:00

What self-respecting nerd from the 80s does not have this poster hanging in their room? Now I'm not actually speaking from experience as I'm totally a child of the 90s, but come on. This is right up there with Dune. Even Chuck's got one (if you can see it over on the left side).

After seeing the previews for the new Tron movie I was pretty freaking excited. Went with some friends to the midnight showing of it and to be honest, it was a really cool movie. Not epic like I'd hoped, but good nonetheless. What I understand now that I didn't realize before seeing the movie is that it is in large part a sequel. You don't actually have to see the original as they explain all the necessary points, but I would like to see it regardless. The main character from the first movie - Flynn - is in the new movie as the father and is played by the same actor. Quite clever of them if I do say so myself.

I tried to see the original 1982 version before seeing the new one, but apparently Disney has locked it up in the vault. My theory is that they're waiting for everyone to see this new one first because they don't want anyone to be put off by the terrible graphics of the first movie. Well, for the early 80s I'm sure they were revolutionary, but for this decade they're a joke and most people under the age of 15 wouldn't really get it. Personally I'm hoping that they will re-release the old one around the same time the new one comes out on DVD. That way all the fans who want to see the original will be able to without tracking down their nerdy 30 year old friends....

Anywho, here is a preview for Tron and Tron Legacy, this way you can compare them. I would definitely recommend the new Tron movie for anyone debating.

Cowboys & Aliens

2010-12-19T21:34:00.001-08:00

Whaaaaaaat is this???

The preview starts and you get super excited thinking 'OH MY GOSH ANOTHER JAMES BOND MOVIE!!' Lies......about 15 seconds later you're like, 'oh, it's a Western.' Also lies......

You see James Bond in a bar being a total bad*** as usual, and some random chick and you're like 'ok, cool, whatever.' Then he's a wanted criminal. Then Harrison Ford rides in on a horse with a gun! Then you're like 'HOLY CRAP THIS MOVIE'S GONNA ROCK!!' Then you find out it has the same director as Iron Man and Steven Spielberg is producing. So it's like, knocking your freaking socks off, right?

Theeeeeeeeen there are aliens. WHAT THE RANDOM?? Their flying saucers zoom in from the horizon, they start blowing things up and abducting people, and then Mr. Bond blows a ship to smithereens with this random metal contraption/laser launcher on his wrist.

So at this point you're probably thinking, 'Well the story line seems a little strange, but it's got a lot of great actors and people who know what they're doing.' Then you see the title...

'Cowboys & Aliens'

...........

Really? I'm so conflicted.

Watch the preview and tell me you don't feel the same.

I Don't Wanna Dance

2010-12-03T23:25:00.000-08:00

The title is a lie. I always want to dance, but I had to stick with my theme of having most of my titles be song names. MOST of my titles, not all of them. I will permit no snarky comments about how a select few of them are not songs titles. Get over it.

I have been buying music on iTunes like craaazy and I'm very pleased with the investment. Genius is my new best friend. I've discovered a bunch of random artists that I really quite like.

Onto the topic of this post. I have no topic. Today is just ONE OF THOSE DAYS. I've done a few things lately that should've stressed me out quite a bit, but they didn't. Turns out all the stress had just been waiting until everything was over and settled before it reared its ugly head and knocked me into total life exhaustion. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

I've gotten most of my christmas shopping done and now I just have to wrap everything, so kudos to myself. I've finally started to settle into my job, but I'm hesitant to say that because as soon as I do you know something totally freaky will happen. The group I've been in charge of is singing at the church Christmas party absurdly early tomorrow morning, so if anything is gonna go wrong then it's too late to fix, muahahaha. I've started getting used to my new calling as primary chorister, and the kids are very quickly picking up the new song we've been teaching. So more or less now is the time I should be the least stressed. I play it off as one of those situations where you feel all week like you're gonna get sick, but you don't get sick until the weekend because your brain knows you're too busy to get sick until the weekend. My brain knew I was too busy to be stressed, so now I'm just dealing with the aftermath. Good and bad. Yawn.

Mentors and Dementors

2010-12-02T00:53:00.000-08:00

I have so much I want to talk about, but I'll try to go one thing at a time.

First thing's first, I've finally decided on a couple songs I want to try a mash-up of. There won't be any fancy video or anything unless I find someone to help me out, but I plan on recording an audio file and if it's any good I'll post it up here. I'm pretty stoked though. It's gonna be a lot of fun.

I moved back to my home ward and immediately got called to be the primary co-chorister. This calling is a lot of fun and it's better than I anticipated. You'd think getting up in front of a group of kids teaching songs would be relatively simple, and it is. It's getting up in front of the rest of the presidency and the other chorister that's a little intimidating for me. I've been warming into it though and I'm starting to feel more confident. I feel like I've been able to use some great ideas from my mom and I hope to start coming up with some good ideas of my own. I've had enormous help from my mom, who has had this calling about a million times in her life and is in fact the current stake primary chorister. She is prepared for just about anything. I've had a great amount of help in the form of my fellow co-chorister as well. Both of these women have helped me more than I can say and I apprecaiate them so much.

It's kind of an empowering feeling to know that I can stand up in front of a group like the one in primary every week and teach them something. I can understand a little of why people would want to be teachers. I'm not saying I would like to be a teacher, in fact I think it would drive me nuts and the students would be confused beyond reasoning, but it's a good experience for me to practice something like this. It's just one more way to add knowledge to my repertoire and it's been a lot of fun so far. The kids are fantastic and I'm really happy for the opportunity to do something for them that made such a difference in my life growing up. I wouldn't want them to miss out on what I had, so I hope I can live up to my own expectations eventually.

In moving back to my home ward I have also inadvertently put myself on the list of 'people to harass when you need something done.' I was asked to put together a group of people to perform some songs at our ward Christmas party this year. It's been an interesting experience and we're performing this Saturday. Pray that all goes well. I'm pretty sure it will turn out alright as things like this usually come together when it's important, but I'm seriously hoping it will be fantastic. I'm both horrified and glad that I was asked to do this, and even more horrified and glad that I said yes. Knowing the nature of the church I am positive that this is just the first of many, many things I will be asked to be in charge of, so it's good practice for me. I've had great people helping me out and I really appreciate the advice and the input they've given. Being in charge of something like this is terrifying for me because I feel like I am putting myself on the line. I'm sure it will go really well, but I know that it would go better if I had been better prepared in organizing this. I've spent my entire life looking at people in charge and thinking 'if I was in charge I would do it like this.' Now I AM in charge and I hope I can live up to the expectations of those who think the same way I do. I'm not living up to my own expectations, but this is a learning experience and next time I will do better.

At work I have had a lot of learning experiences, especially since I've become a manager. I cannot express how grateful I am for the help of my manager Ben. His input has been so inredibly invaluable and he imparts his advice so willingly. I know that he wants us all to succeed, and everything he does reflects that. I've had to do some very uncomfortable things recently that I hoped wouldn't happen until I'd gotten more comfortable with the job, but there was nothing to be done when the problems presented themselves. They had to be taken care of and I didn't know what to do/say. Well, I could've handled myself, but I'm not the most tactful person in the world. Ben has had a lot of practice and experience with things similar to what I was facing, and his advice was more useful to me than I can say. I really truly appreciate his help. Laura too. She is so incredibly patient with all the silly things I do and the mistakes I make. Watching the two of them has shown me the importance of being patient and willing to help anybody who asks. I would definitely like to be looked up to one day like I look up to them.

I named this post Mentors and Dementors because I thought it was clever, haha, but also because I wanted to express how grateful I am for the mentors I've had recently that have helped me overcome my 'dementors,' the problems and new experiences that I feel suck the life out of me. Most of these new things involve the transition of me becoming an adult, and that reality is more draining than anything. It's not just having these adult responsibilities, it's being responsible with and for people whom I've always thought of as older and wiser than myself. Having my friend's parents asking me for advice? That's both terrifying and gratifying and it has raised my thought processes to a whole new level.

I hope I can continue broadening my horizons, experiencing new things, and taking the advice of those who know more than me. I hope none of us EVER take the knowledge of the experienced for granted. I know I have before and I hope I never do again.

So What

2010-11-24T20:41:00.000-08:00

Woooow......I love my sister and my mom, but sometimes when we're all in the room together I feel like I'm going to scream. We all have the same bad habits when we talk, but I have to admit that I've been working on not interrupting and talking over other people CONSTANTLY. I still do it. I'm not gonna deny it, I do it all the time. But it minorly drives me nuts when there are 3 of us doing it at once. I can't get either of them to SHUSH!! And I tend to make both of them angry because they always misunderstand. I start to say something and they interupt, then some part of their brain registers part of what I said and the whole thing is ridiculously out of context and gets blown out of proportion. So I'd like to take a moment to clear up a few misconceptions we seem to have had.

-No Ashley, I'm not pregnant. Nor will I be pregnant until AFTER I'm married.

-No Ashley, I will not ACTUALLY smother your rabbit. I'm not a crazy psychopath, that was sarcasm thank you very much.

-No Mom, I'm not criticizing you. It was actually a compliment, but thanks for taking it that way. The one sided argument added so much to the beauty of my comment...

-No Mom, I'm not actually talking about you. Yes you did throw a temper tantrum and stomp out of the room, but I got over it. I was talking about something that has absolutely no relation to you, but you yelling 'I CAN HEAR YOU TALKING ABOUT ME' from the other room really made you seem mature.

I'm being a brat, I know, but I'm bothered. Rawr. I'll get over it. I have my fair share of annoying traits and immaturity. It's just so exhausting to be misunderstood all the time and have to participate in so many absurdly loud 'conversations' where everybody gets mad.

The Infamous CatDragon

2010-11-22T21:21:00.000-08:00

I have wanted a cat ever since I was old enough to develop my own opinions. Throughout elementary school I was always asked which I preferred more, cats or dogs? Having grown up surrounded by dog lovers I naturally picked dogs as my first choice. My life's goal was to own a dog and I always begged my parents to let me have one.

In retrospect it would have been fun to have a dog, but I'm awfully grateful to my parents for never letting me have one. As the years went by and I made do with my hamsters and fish, I came to realize how much I love cats. I really only just barely put up with dogs. I can't stand them licking me and getting their cold fur all over me. They're always messy. Clean yourself for once Senor Rufus. Don't get me wrong, dogs are fun and I quite enjoy them if they're clean and slober-free, but that rarely happens.

Cats, on the other hand, bathe themselves all the time. They shed, of course, but they don't smell like poo and dirt and they don't slobber all over my face. They are sassy and mean and lazy and I love it. My Aunt and Uncle have a cat that I have often suspected of watching me for signs of fellow demonic behavior. Seriously, that cat is creepy sometimes. I love it. I can go a whole day at their house babysitting without seeing it once, then when the kids are in bed I'll turn around and find it sitting in the doorway watching me. That cat has infinitely more patience than I do. It will sit upright and stare at me for hours. It was disturbing at first, but after a while it was just plain impressive. It ignored me unless I got close, which caused hissing and biting. That is, until I accidentally stepped on it. Now it loves me.

Cats are backwards. The worse you treat them and the more you ignore them, the more they love you. I think that's kind of fun. It's a pet that uses its owner for convenience only and makes for a good mini lap warmer. I want.

I have decided over the course of the last few years that one day I will own 2 cats. One will be black and will be named Sega. I've had this name picked out for a while now and I'm very happy with it.

The other cat will be orange and will be named CatDragon. He will be fed sheep from Logan and be hidden from the general population, as his awesomeness would be too overwhelming for the common man.

I am conflicted, however, because I really like black cats with white stomachs. I just think that pure black cats are so pretty. It's a tough decision.

King of Anything

2010-10-16T01:24:00.000-07:00

I wish that I had recording equipment. I've been watching some videos by this guy and wishing that I could edit videos like that. I would LOVE to make videos like this, and I actually have quite a few great mash-up ideas for some popular songs, but I just don't have the means to do something like this. Perhaps I'll start :P Also, I absolutely love this song.

Learn to Live

2010-10-01T22:46:00.000-07:00

There are many things I would love to learn to do before I go back to school next fall. I saw a post today on Yes and Yes, my favorite blog to stalk when I'm bored. The post said 'Learn to make yourself happy.' Now I've never particularly thought of myself as an unhappy person, but heaven knows everybody could certainly use a boost to make them even happier. So along this vein, I've thought of a few new things to learn in order to make myself a merrier me.

1-Learn to speak a new language. I've had my eye on this one for YEARS, but I've just never gotten around to it. It's time for me to suck it up and actually put some effort into it. I want to get RosettaStone, but it's just so pickin' expensive. That aside, I'm also having a hard time deciding what language to learn first. I know Spanish would probably be the most useful, but I think I would like to learn Latin or Italian first. I would definitely love to do Japanese or Mandarin Chinese, but I don't think I should try for a language with such a different writing system. At least at first. One day I'm gonna be pro and speak all of them. I'm a Linguist. It's what I do.

2-Learn to be more impulsive. I am not a very impulsive person. Because of this, I have missed a lot of great opportunities to have fun. It's something I've always worked on and truth be told, I've improved drastically. However, I still have a hard time acting on my own impulses. If I'm sitting at home one night and I want to go to a movie, I should just go. Should I be bothered that no one can come with me? Maybe. Should I let it stop me? NO!

3-Learn to be comfortable with dating. This will be hard....but worth it!

4-Learn to take a stand....LOUDLY. If I really disagree with something that is directly affecting me, I will always say as much. However, if I disagree with something that is far away, I have a hard time not pulling out the usual excuses. 'It's not my problem.' 'Someone else with more resources will take care of it.' Things like that. I have strong opinions but I hate listening to people who can't agree to disagree. I am more than happy to talk to someone with different life views than me if they're willing to respect my own. But if I meet a person who is defensive and close-minded about what they believe, I pretty much just ignore that part of them. I shouldn't though. I'm not saying I should run around proclaiming myself, but I shouldn't stay silent either. If someone asks my opinion, I should give it (tactfully, of course) and not just shrug it off. Also, if there is something I don't like about my life/the world, I should try to fix it instead of waiting for later. I have the common mindset 'I will fix it later when I have the means.' Wrong. I will start now so that when I have the means I will know what to do with them.

5-Learn to be patient. I have no patience with stupid people. I should work on that.

6-Learn to speak better. I have pretty decent speaking skills, but that's not good enough for me. I will get better with practice, but that's assuming I actually bother to practice. I have great things to say and I usually think them out first, but once I start speaking I tend to skip over important parts. I say enough that the meaning is still clear, but the power of the things I say is diminished.

7-Learn to put forth the effort first. I have great friends and great opportunities, but I usually sit around and wait for them to come to me. It's my turn to start planning things, to start putting myself out there and getting in contact with that certain teacher at the university or the leader of a group I want to join. I need to do the work, because if I leave it to someone else it will never get done.

8-Learn to be a ninja. Duh.

Life in Technicolor

2010-09-28T01:43:00.000-07:00

I have always associated things with colors, but surprisingly enough to me, those color associations are changing. It's kind of weirding me out. It makes me feel like my personality is changing. I mean, I like who I am, but it's weird to think of something like that. Like someone's tastes changing as they get older, liking spicy food as a young adult but starting to hate it at age 43. Like being obsessed with a certain song and one day realizing that song drives you slightly mad. Like starting to realize that you actually loathe someone you thought you loved or love someone you thought you loathed. Perspectives change and I'm fully aware of this, but it's freaky when it actually starts to happen.

The most interesting thing is that I hate the color red, but many of the most important things in my life are associated with that color (And the color brown. I hate brown). Why is that I wonder? Ah well. Most things that I want to do, like writing a book, I associate with the colors green and blue. My favorite colors. Does this mean that I'm getting tired of my life as it is, or just that I'm getting comfortable with it? It's a little upsetting.

I've been trying to move myself towards better colors as time progresses, but thinking like that just makes me feel like a new-age hippy. Ah well. Rock on Dudes! :P

Don't Quit! Not Quite!

2010-09-28T01:16:00.000-07:00

So I can't decide if I take things too seriously or if I don't take things seriously enough. I think my problem is both. I only go to extremes.

Things I take too seriously:

-Clayton

Not that I see this as bad or anything. My experiences with Clayton have totally been worth the work I put into them. In fact, I would have missed many opportunities had I not taken it as seriously as I do. However, because of how much I care, when things go poorly or not quite as I expect I get much more upset than I feel I should. Of course, no one but my mom hears me get upset, haha, but it does happen on rare occasions.

-Work

This is a totally acceptable thing. I just put it here because I feel like I have no life outside of work. It's all I have to talk about and that fact annoys me. I enjoy working where I do.

-Relationships

I've never been in one. This is because I feel like I can't get into a casual or fun relationship with someone I'm not serious about. And I'm not serious about anybody. In fact, I have a hard time going past the 2nd date. Ouch. I've had opportunities that I told myself to take a chance on, but I've only ended up offending people and feeling guilty. I've never felt lovesick in the traditional sense. I've felt sick thinking about love, but in a bad way. I care too much about the other person (not feelings for them, but a courteous caring, like a friend) and it terrifies me when they care at all. I've never been a romantic person, but I never realized how true that was until a couple weeks ago. I need a relationship with a friend. Someone who I can have a casual and fun relationship with without feeling too serious about it. If that makes sense....But I take relationships MUCH too seriously. The end. Bleh.

-Caring about people understanding what I'm saying

This problem mostly surfaces when I'm talking to my sister and my mom. My sister has a hard time hearing the correct meaning behind what people say (sorry Ash :P) and tends to think quite the opposite. After I figured that out it's actually been quite entertaining, though sometimes I can't figure out how to make her understand what I actually mean. Frustrating, but I feel the communication failure is on my end at least half of the time at this point. My mother on the other hand is getting worse by the day. She's always been very opinionated with quite a lot to say, but she forgets to wait her turn. We all interrupt people and we're all interrupted by people. Big deal. Well it IS a big deal when the interrupting leads to anger and arguing. The problem with talking to my mom is that I'll start a sentence which, taken out of context, sounds really bad. I start my sentence and she interrupts halfway through without hearing the rest of what I say, which is essential to understanding the meaning. Especially if I'm being sarcastic or cracking a joke. For instance, I never do my dishes. I leave them sitting around everywhere. This drives her nuts and I know it, so I've been working on it. But bad habits aren't fixed overnight. This doesn't stop her from getting increasingly frustrated, which I understand. Anyways, she'll tell me to clean up, which I already did but she didn't see. So I say as much. 'No, I uhmmm......' Then she interrupts before I can say 'I actually already finished them.' Nope, none of this. It turns into 'Did you just say NO? I do your dishes all the time and you said NO this ONE time I blah di blah di blah.' Sure, that's totally justified if I HAD actually said NO. Grrr..... this is just an example, but you can understand my frustration, riiiight? That's an instance that I feel totally justified getting angry about, but this happens with most anything I say and honestly I need to stop letting it bother me so much. I take it much too seriously.

-Spiders

Who doesn't? However, I feel like they stalk me or I create them from my imagination. This is a topic for a different post though. I have much to say on the matter.

Things I don't take seriously enough:

-Everything else

I'm cool........

My biggest problem is that there is no middle ground. I'm like an OCD person that has to have everything perfect in one room, but the next room can be a total pig-sty and it doesn't bother me at all. My brain is mysterious.

Send Me A Song

2010-09-10T00:24:00.000-07:00

I went to see Pirates of Penzance today at Hale Center Theatre. It was amazing. I love that musical so much, but seeing it done live was fantastic. The music was/is incredible and I love the lyrics! I mean, I've seen Pirates done multiple times, and even did a snippet of it in 9th grade for choir, but actually seeing the whole thing done WELL just made my day.

Music is ridiculous. In a good way. Sometimes it makes me need to scream I'm so excited. I'm weird, sure, but don't tell me that you've never felt incredible listening to a certain song. Super motivated, super excited, super HUMAN.

Music rocks. It'll change your life.

Intertainment and Mythical Beasts

2010-08-24T22:42:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months I have discovered the joy of watching well-made vlogs. I have found a couple different people that I really enjoy watching. And we all know the best ones have music videos. I will now share a few choice videos with you. The videos don't quite fit and I don't know how to fix that, so if you'd like to see them for real, please go to the vlog sites.

The first I discovered is Julian Smith. I saw a video on Facebook, which you may have seen as well. 25 Things I Hate About Facebook. Enjoy.

Those were a few of my personal favorites. Another vlogger, or vlogger duo I should say, that I really enjoy watching can be found at RhettandLink.com. I found them when they did a video in conjunction with Julian Smith. Their videos are more music videos, and I think they're histerical. Please enjoy these next few videos.

Don't these just bring you happiness? I would strongly suggest popping on over to the RhettandLinKommunity and becoming a Mythical Beast yourself. There are hours and hours of video up on their vlog and most of it is pretty darn enjoyable.

Truth of My Youth

2010-08-23T22:54:00.000-07:00

Let's reminisce, shall we? Remember those shows you watched as a child? One of my personal favorites was Arthur. "And I say Hey! (HEY!) What a wonderful kind of day, where we can learn to work and play, and get along with each other."

I'll admit that I totally still watch this one when it's on tv. I would totally watch the others if I had those stations or if they were still on air. Who doesn't love this show? And the dynamic friendship between Arthur and Buster - Who could top that?

Aren't you just feeling great right about now? How about another of my favorites? How could anyone ever forget good old Bill Nye the science guy?

He's a childhood classic! Watching episodes of this man was not only awesome but educational! I remember us always begging the teachers to let us watch Bill Nye for science in elementary school. And at an average of $30 an episode, it's obvious that I'm not the only one with a thing for the science guy. He's histerical, funny looking (but in a good way), and super smart. Could you ask for more? I submit you could not. I saw an episode of Stargate Atlantis with Bill Nye in it, playing himself. It was odd, but I enjoyed seeing him in something other than the usual Nye episodes.

Does everyone remember your favorite dog Wishbone? What a great way to teach kids about folk tales and old stories that they've stopped teaching in school. I learned much more about mythology from Wishbone than I ever did through the edumacation system. My personal favorites? The Arabian Nights episodes. The ones about the story telling spider. The Sleepy Hollow episode. And how about Robin Hood!

I loved the episodes about Odysseus and greek mythologies. Wishbone is such a fantastic show. I recently saw an episode and got so excited that they were still playing! I'm sure they stopped filming years ago, but this is a show I would love to own. For myself.

Now my next childhood show here is a legend. My first crush. Well, my first two crushes I guess. Two brilliantly attractive zoologists who spend their time educataining people (educate + entertain. Brilliant, no?). What I'm talking about is none other than the show Kratt's Creatures. The Kratt brothers are the freaking BOMB!

And let's not forget their later show, Zoboomafoo! This show spawned my lifelong love of lemurs. They're just awesome. The Kratt brothers Chris and Martin, Zoboomafoo, lemurs, animals, learning. I can't even handle it.

I loved the Kratt brothers. In fact, I'm feeling the need to start buying their shows on DVD. Immediately. My children WILL be watching these shows. All of them. That is non-negotiable. Well, they would be watching Bill Nye as well were it not so darn expensive!

There are so many other fantastic shows that I haven't mentioned. The above are the ones that I remember best from my childhood. We never had cable, so most the shows I watched were under the PBS umbrella, but here are some other great shows of note that I watched occassionally:

-Hey Arnold

-Doug (That's for you, Josh)

-Pepper Ann

-Sabrina the Teenage Witch (The cartoon version AND the real life version)

I've missed many that I will remember later and be upset over, but for now I will bring this to a close and run the risk. There is one show that I didn't mention that I feel deserves to be noted. This is a show that I didn't necessarily watch as a child, it was more around my junior high/early high school time. Many people haven't heard of this show, but it's bloody brilliant. I present, The TICK!

Everything from his outfit, to his awesome sidekick moth-friend Arthur, to his warcry SPOOOOOOOON! is just fantastic. I pity all those who have not experienced the greatness that is the Tick. I have two episode which are my personal favorites. The first is 'Mustache Feeling,' where the Tick wakes to find he has an awesome new mustache. Soon he discovers, however, that it has a mind of its own. Never fear though! The Tick will save the day. Eventually.

My other favorite episode is the 'Filth' episode. The mantra of the Filth has stuck with me for years. "We're filth! We're filth! We come from filth, we're going to filth! We're filth!"

It's fantastic. I challenge anyone to not love the Tick in some way. It's just......the Tick. There's no more to say.

And on that note I will conclude this voyage to the past. I hope you enjoyed! Do you feel that I missed any shows that are extremely worthy of note? Let me know!

Obsession Nocturne

2010-08-23T00:17:00.000-07:00

I never realized before how much I really like owls. It's something that's never really come up before. I mean, owls aren't really a common thing around here, so I've never given them much thought. I see them at zoos and we've had one on our porch maybe two or three times, but that's the extent of my contact with them.

When I went to the Philippines, for some reason they had a lot of things having to do with owls. There were owl woodcarvings and jewelry with owls that I found especially interesting. For some reason, as soon as I saw these owls I immediately fell in love. Maybe I was reminiscing on my first real contact with owls?

Remember the owl from Zelda? Ya, I think he was my first love. I mean, how histerical is an old, wise, talking owl? How much cooler could it get??

Anyways, I found it interesting that I was so attracted to the owl paraphernalia they had. Apparently I really, really like owls. Who knew? I bought a couple carvings there and I kind of wish I'd gotten more of them, but whatever. I also got a pair of earings and two necklaces that have owls made out of some kind of shell I think. I love them! They are awfully fun. This is a new found interest that I will be using in my decorating in the future. Owls are pretty darn cool. And everything they represent makes you feel smart. They represent wisdom, intelligence, and focus for me. I mean, the staring eyes just make you feel like they're paying such good attention to everything, haha. And I love the way their heads turn around.

It is one of my non-negotiable life goals to have a library of some sort, and I would really enjoy some owl bookends. I think I will make an effort to find some that I like, but I would never get a stuffed owl. I've seen stuffed owls as decorations before, including in a library and I find it to be kind of terrifying. I don't want something dead watching me walk around. Eek.

But anyhow, owls are just plain cool. That is all.

Finger Monkeys!

2010-08-18T22:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, these are real.

I need one.

See I'm Smiling...

2010-08-17T01:09:00.000-07:00

Life still rocks and I love it, but sometimes I look at other people and I think, man....I'm doing nothing productive. Everything is so easy. I could do so much more. But I don't. Boo.

I want a boyfriend. I guess when I said everything is easy I forgot about this. I've never been good with guys. I fail at making conversation, especially in person. I'm much better in writing. Plus I just flat out don't like very many people. I know that seems like a downer, but I don't find that many people genuinely interesting. Not to be a terrible person or anything.....Ok, that was kind of a lie. I don't find many people genuinely interesting AND attractive. I actually find a LOT of people really interesting. I just don't think they're very good looking. That's a little rude too I guess. Blah.

I don't know what to do. I know it'll all work out and all that uplifting cliche crap, but for now it just kinda bites. I'm in a stupid mood. I should go to bed and stop feeling sorry for myself.

I feel like I need to do something new now. All my friends are moving on with their lives, going back to school, getting married, going on missions. I'm doing none of those things and I have so many things I want to do but I'm not doing any of it yet. I need to work and earn money and live in the real world. It's starting to make me tired again. Life tired. Life bored. I loathe that feeling. It's frustrating and makes me too blah to even cry. I feel void of emotions. RAAAAWR!!! I'll be better tomorrow. G'night.

Aint Goin' Down

2010-08-06T02:09:00.000-07:00

Life rocks right now. I love life. Even when I don't particularly like it, I love it. I just got back from my performing tour to the Philippines and I met the most amazing people in the entire world. I plan on writing a more indepth blog about that with some choice pictures, but for now I'll just say that if I hadn't gotten sick I would have loved to stay there for so so much longer. The people there were so friendly and happy with their lives that it made me grateful to be alive. As I got off the plane in America I immediately saw the difference between there and here. I've never really noticed but the people in America are so suspicious and cautious about everything. We've become uncomfortable with being friendly and I'm no longer okay with that.

I've gotten back my passion in life. Not that I had been particularly depressed, but I was going through a slump where I didn't really know what to do with myself. I feel as though I've finally gotten back out of that. Being in a foreign country made me feel my familiar but long-forgotten need to communicate. I wanted to cry because I didn't know the language. I wanted to be able to blend into the culture and share with these beautiful, beautiful people in their own tongue. It's a strange feeling that I can only describe again as a need. Not a desire to communicate, but a need.

As I've been back in America for a couple days I realize how much I've been out of touch with myself, with my responsibility and my enthusiasm. I'm gonna fix that right now. I have given myself a huge opportunity in my life for the next year and I'm going to run with it. Run as fast and far as I can.

I got the promotion I hoped for at work and I'm grateful. I started training today and it wasn't nearly as terrifying as I thought it was going to be. I was afraid that there would be more resentment towards me, but I have to say that I respect some people I work with so much more after today. There was someone else who I know applied for the position as well and I feel like she really deserves it as much as I do. Where she lacks in leadership skills, I lack in knowledge and experience. I think that's what got me the position. Experience is something easier to acquire. I really respect her for the way she acted today. I was told that I got the position right before my shift started. So were those who did not get the position. And they still had to work as servers while they watched me being trained. I have to imagine that would be terribly depressing. I would have been dissappointed enough to have wanted to go home. I wouldn't want to have to spend the next 4 hours trying to please people who are sometimes very impatient and ungrateful. I expected a bit more animosity, but I apparently was not giving this girl enough credit. I admire her for the way she reacted. With was happened, I know I would have been a bit bitter and would not have been able to recover as she did. As I watched her today I realized that's something I need to work on in the future. It left a big impression on me.

I'm very happy to have gotten the position. Especially now that Synergy is almost over and I will no longer have rehearsals, I was hoping to be able to get more hours again. I imagine that I will be scheduled a lot more often again, particularly because I now will be scheduled as a server AND a house manager. I'm quite excited and I appreciate having gotten the position. It makes me a lot more confident for future jobs and a lot more confident in my own skills. I was particularly nervous during the interview and I know it showed, but it's a comfort to know that despite that I was still hired. So at least my interview skills aren't particularly detrimental, haha. But knowing that I can progress like this is comforting knowing that I want so much from life. I just have to go out and get it.

Perhaps the most impactful words on my life recently have been these:

"The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Strange Phenomenon

2010-07-22T00:16:00.000-07:00

You know how one day you'll hear a new word that you swear no one has ever used before, but then over the next few days you hear just about everyone use it at least once? All the sudden it's so common and you're so weirded out by the fact that this word must be used all the time and in your entire life you never once paid attention to it. I find this a strange phenomenon.

You know how sometimes in a group, like at work persay, you can go weeks and even months without anyone making a mistake, but then once one person does, everyone else quickly follows suite and makes their own mistake as well. Like at Desert Star, when one person spills it seems like everyone else has to spill at least once before we can go back to normal again. I find this a strange phenomenon.

You know how randomly you'll hear someone say something incorrectly, like adding an extra word into the lyrics of a song, and you think nothing of it until you hear a few other people who are totally unassociated do the same thing as well? Well, maybe this is just something I have noticed and is not so common as the other two, but I've heard a lot of people randomly inserting the word 'the' where it should not go. Twice in my dance group people added 'the' into a sentence in their solo. At Desert Star one of the actors will sing 'the happy trails' instead of just 'happy trails.' I notice it because it takes an extra beat, but I feel like I am the only one noticing it. I find this a strange phenomenon.

What are some random things that you find strange? Things that shouldn't be patterns but are?

Shoebox Of Life

2010-07-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

I feel the need to vent right now. I've actually been in a great mood today and I've been awfully chatty, which I'm sure is driving certain people nuts, but there's really no helping it is there? Haha, so the thing that's really bothering me at the moment is one of my friends. I love this kid to death, seriously, but sometime he is just so freaking condescending that I want to drop him off on the side of the road and drive off to Disneyland without him. That'd teach him, right?

When I say this kid is condescending, what I mean is that he always acts like I'm the dumbest person alive. I'll make comments that make perfect sense, but he won't understand them. I don't know why, because when I say the same thing to other people, they seem to know exactly what I mean. Maybe this kid just doesn't understand human language very well....or he's just stupid. But he misinterprets half the things I say and just all around thinks I don't ever know what I'm talking about. Then he'll get on a huge kick laughing about it and telling everyone around us that I'm 'really actually a really smart person, so it's soooooo funny!' Ya sure I don't mind you laughing, especially when I really do say something stupid, but when I make actual valid comments that you just don't understand, at least be a man and admit you don't understand instead of pretending like I said something stupid.

What I will never understand is how people can think they know so much about everything. This friend has a certain characteristic that he would like to think makes him more knowledgeable about the world and more open minded than the rest of us. Sometimes he'll say things like he's explaining culture and human behavoir to a 5 year old. Thanks, but I'm not a total idiot. I do understand how people work, but I would LOVE to sit here and listen to you preach about how much you know about everybody.

He talks about how people are so judgemental all the time, but then we'll drive past someone and he'll immediately say 'oh that person's (insert adjective here).' I'll disagree and he'll go on this huge rampage about how he knows because 'there was this one time where I met this one person who did this and now I feel like I know EVERYTHING about it.'

The worst was the other day when we were talking about relationships. There were a few of us talking about something and I commented on how I didn't think it was worth all the fuss. This kid pitches a fit because he doesn't agree. All I meant was that I myself would never do this certain thing because I didn't think it was worth the bother and the problems it would cause. He seemed to take personal offense and think that I was saying it was fundamentally wrong or something. Whatever. Then he goes off on a tangent and I sit there thinking 'Oh my gosh shut UP!' Then he said the most annoying phrase in the entire world. He goes, "Hun, when you're actually in a relationship where you like the person this much, you'll understand." What, so I'm too stupid to imagine something? So the minute I'm in a relationship that you deem worthy of your approval, I'll automatically come around to your way of thinking? I see the value in his argument, but that only applies to HIM. I still disagree for MYSELF. I will never change that opinion. And I even specifically said, 'well it doesn't matter if you don't understand or agree with my point, because I know what I'm saying and I don't really mind.' I wasn't disagreeing with him, I wasn't saying he was wrong, and I wasn't in any way, shape, or form being argumentative at all. He just WENT OFF!!! And he does that all the time.

I just want to say, No, you're wrong. Your fashion sense is terrible and you're a condescending jerk.

In all fairness, this is not a big problem and it doesn't actually happen all that often, but I'm gonna have to sit this kid down and have a little chat if we're going to continue being friends. He thinks other people are closeminded and judgemental? What about him? He's the one who thinks I don't understand because I was raised in an LDS family in Utah and thus know 'nothing' about the 'real' world. If only I actually said half the things on my mind.

I love this kid to death, but right now I just want to kick him straight in the face and yell at him.

Vent officially over.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

2010-07-11T22:25:00.000-07:00

My brother had his wedding reception yesterday and it went really well. Basically it was my wedding, which is a little depressing because now I feel like I have to do stuff differently (at least a little bit), but I still really enjoyed it. They had it where I wanted (and in all fairness, where I suggested), she had the same colors, she had fish bowls as the centerpieces, there were paper lanterns as the decorations, and she had the person I want to have make my cake do hers. I mean, I'm pretty flexible on the whole issue, especially considering I'm not even close to getting married or even having a boyfriend, but it was still a little strange to think about it as I watched everyone coming and going. The decorations looked fantastic. I was really impressed with how everything worked out.

The things I want to do differently at my reception are pretty simple, but non-negotiable. I WILL be wearing converse. The end. There WILL be a bouncey castle, but only for the adults. It will rock. Also I want to have a candy table with little 'to-go grab bags' that people can fill up with M&Ms and whatever we put on the table. There will be runts and they will all be separated so people only have to take the kinds they want. Brilliant, eh? I plan to hoard most the banana ones for myself. Don't judge. Also, I will not have little goldfish in my fishbowls. They'll be something awesomely exotic, or just colorful betas at least. I will pick out my fish, thank you very much. There were 16 little goldfish last night and I really disliked 3 of them. The rest were cute but those 3 were a creepy pale white-ish color and looked sickly. No bueno. Only fish of complete coolness for me.

Soon I'll be out of the whole wedding mood and life will go back to boring non-eventfulness (non-counting my trip to the Philippines, cuz that's gonna rock!). I mentioned today that I would really like to take my old 10 gallon tank and put a mini aquarium in my room, and my mom sounded like she wasn't halfway opposed to the idea. From past experience I'm taking that to mean that she is persuadable, and since I'm a very persistent brat, I think it'll work out in my favor. Of course this is all with the caviot that I get my room clean enough to actually put a fish tank in it in the first place. There is so much STUFF e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e......I should probably store more of it in the attic. Man, when I get married we won't have to register for hardly anything. I've got a ton of kitchen stuff from when I moved to Provo, I have enough furniture to fill a pretty average sized house, and I have every book and tv series/movie you could possibly want. Well...that's a huge exaggeration, but I feel pretty well prepared. I have so many things being kept up in the attic right now for later use, and the amount of stuff is about to double. I just don't have room in my room (weird sentence, haha). Anywho, back to the fish tank. I'm pretty stoked, not gonna lie. I wanna put purple, blue, and green gravel on the bottom. Not mixed together, but side by side on a diagonal, if that makes any sense. So I'd have purple in the back left corner, blue in the front right corner, and green in the middle, or something like that. Then I have some decorative sandstone rock formations that my parents bought for me on a trip to Yellowstone or somewhere of the like. And then I'm gonna fill the tank with tetras and neon-flourescent fish. They have plenty at Petco and Petsmart. I'm all over this. Boo-freaking-ya.

Anyways, I just felt the need to write something, so here I am, sharing with you this completely useless information. Hope you enjoy it. Buahahaha.

Let's Do Something

2010-07-10T02:31:00.000-07:00

I don't really have anything particular I want to talk about today. I just feel like writing. Actually, I really feel like singing, but it's 3 in the morning and everyone's in bed. That would be rude. Tomorrow is Adam and Katrina's wedding reception, which is totally weird. It was actually really easy to get used to the idea of them being married and Adam being moved out. What's weird right now is thinking, hey....why is the reception tomorrow instead of a MONTH AGO when they got married?? Hahaha. Ah well, I think it's kind of funny. It should be fun tomorrow and I'm a little bit excited, as strange as that may seem.

I made the decision to not go to school this fall or next spring. I feel really good about this decision. Thanks Kristie for your comment on my last post. That actually made me feel a lot better about making my decision. I totally thought I would feel like a failure and a half, but now that I've made the decision, I have absolutely no shame whatsoever. I'm so excited for this semester to officially be over and for me to start my year off. I have so many different things I want to do, and writing is at the top of my list. I've just been building up great ideas over the past few years and I'm really excited to actually try my hand at a few of them. I'd also like to write lyrics. I don't have any music writing ability to speak of as of yet, and I'm not really interested in it ever, but I really like writing lyrics. This is going to be some seriously rockin time off!

I need to find a second job for during the day, which is a little off-putting when I think about all the free time I COULD have, but I need the money and it will be good to have something to do. I plan on still working at Desert Star, but that's only at night and I would like to have a job for mornings and afternoons. I'm thinking of applying at the library (again, haha). I figure that last time I applied I didn't get hired most likely because I wasn't available in the afternoons. Now I'll have a completely open schedule right as all of the college students that work there now are leaving. I'm the perfect candidate in my opinion! Hopefully they agree. Or I could get a job at Target, although I don't know if I'll be able to handle/stand the excessive amounts of stupid people that I'll have to work with. I can handle stupid customers because they leave, and I can handle a few duds when I get to meet a lot of really interesting people as well. I don't know, but I think I'll apply at both places. Does anybody else have any good ideas? I'm open to suggestions, although I will say that I am NOT looking for another job as a server. I'll do customer service, sure, but I think if I have 2 serving jobs I'll start to loath life. :P

One of the major reasons I'm excited about not having school is I feel like I'll have a lot more time to actually have friends. I feel like I've been an indifferent friend lately, and I don't like that at all. I do care, but I need everyone else to know that too. Now I'll actually have time to do the things that I wanna do (ain't got a thing to do with you ~ I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans, excuse my manners if I make a scene!**). This will be good for me. I've been having an enthusiasm struggle lately, but now at the prospect of taking some *me* time, I'm overjoyed! As corny as that sounds...hahaha.

First Train Home

2010-06-29T02:06:00.001-07:00

I've been meaning to write for a while now, but I haven't been able to think of anything good. For months. I've been so freaking unmotivated. I'm going through another one of those stupid 'is my life going in the direction I want it to' periods. I just can't decide. I mean, right now at school I'm doing Linguistics and Computer Science. I enjoy the concept of computer science and I've been enjoying my classes, but I'm not sure if that's exactly what I want. I just don't know. I mean, I'm SMART. That sounds cocky but get over it, haha. I know I'm smart, but I'm not doing anything with it. I look at the grades and scores I got in high school and I think of how much better I could've done had I bothered to study. Ever. I studied for about two hours and my ACT score went up by three. If I had studied every night and done my homework the correct way, I'd be in much better shape. Now in college I'm having the same problem, although now it's much worse because classes are optional. I have such a hard time making myself gooo!! Ugh.

I enjoy Linguistics. I think I would like to stay along those lines, but I don't know what to do about the computer science part. I want a job like that in the future. I want to be on the computer. But I don't know if I want to be programming on the computer. I loved it all last semester, and I still do, but I think I might just be settling. There are so many things that I would like to do and I'm not doing any of them because I feel so overwhelmed. I'm taking a summer semester with one computer programming class, a calculus class, and a physics class. I did this so I can apply to enter the major at the end of the summer and continue taking classes in the fall. But do I really want that? What I really want is to be able to put it all on hold for a year, to be able to decide, but if I wait then I won't be able to take the classes with my brother. A major plus to taking classes in the fall would be that my brother would be in the same classes and I'd have someone to help me out. Buuuuuut am I making that more important than what I really want? I'm SO FRUSTRATED!

I know I shouldn't make decisions like this because of other people. It's like choosing to go to a certain college. You shouldn't go because that's where your friends are going, you should go because that's where you'll be in the best program with the best scholarship. Am I taking computer science right now because my brother's doing it? Should I really take a year off despite the fact that I'll then be behind my brother? I can't decide yet if I'm making the decision to go to school in the fall based on that or not.

Most of the most important things in my life (that sounded strange, haha) have all happened by 'chance.' We're not gonna discuss the whole 'chance' thing, just accept it as is because it's not the focus right now. :D What I mean is that all the things I have defined myself by over the years have all been things that chanced upon me.

I started Clayton because a friend wanted me to and I had no opinion or ambition. 12 years later and I'm still in it, going strong. Some of my best friends are there and I will never forget the things I've learned from it. It's been one of my strongest testimony builders.

I went to RYLA because a friend's mom suggested that I might be interested and they hadn't had enough applicants. As I went back to RYLA that first year, and then for two more consecutive years, I realized how impossible it was that I was invited to RYLA in the first place. RYLA is a leadership training camp run by the Rotary club, which is a major service organization. I hadn't been all that big into community service, mostly just because I'm lazy. I had never heard of the organization and when I first got the call I thought it had to do with cars. I went because I was intrigued, and because of that 3 day weekend I ended up returning two more times, joining the Interact Club in my high school, and becoming the President my senior year. It's been kind of a big deal for me.

I've made so many decisions in my life 'just because.' I haven't really had good reasons for most of the things I do. It's not that I'm indecisive, it's more that I just don't care. When I sit down and think about what I REALLY, REALLY want, the things that come to mind are writing and traveling. I honestly feel that I have the potential to write something really great, but I know that like with everything else it will take time and hard work. I should take classes and prepare myself. I just feel like that's something I shouldn't do. I don't know.... If I took the year off I would like to take that time to write. I want to write music, but I don't think I'd be that great at the actual music part. I'd love to write lyrics though. I love to sing. I love it so much I want to scream whenever I think about it. Alright...that just made me sound like a weirdo, but you probably understand what I mean! Hopefully. Anyways, when I think about doing that I feel so happy. The more I think about it, the more I feel like it'd be a good thing. But then I talk myself out of it. I tell myself I should have a backup plan. I should do something more profitable, more productive. Hardly any writers actually become successful. I'm too lazy. I just shouldn't. Whatever.

I think I should consider this as an option more than I have been. A lot of the reason that I don't want to stop taking classes for a year is because that would kind of make me feel like a failure, but where I am now I'm going down the road of FAIL much faster than ever before. I'm scared for the rest of this semester. I just want it to stop. Right now. RAAAAAWR!!!

Okay, so that's my rant for now. It was long. Now it's over. Hope you enjoyed? Ha....

2010-04-17T00:27:00.000-07:00

Cover Your Eyes

2010-03-28T21:10:00.001-07:00

I had an ...interesting... experience today. My family moved from Anaheim Hills, California about 15 years ago and wound up here in good ol' Murray, Utah. Coincidentally, an awful lot of people from the Anaheim area have also ended up inhabiting round abouts here in the land of no consonants. We welcome all. ANYwho, there was this Anaheim 10th Ward get together for all themsfolks and their families today at the old Bishop's new house (Did that make any sense? Hardy-har). But ya, so my brother, my parents, and I all went packin up to Bountiful for food after church. Yes, I mostly just went for the food.

Because I was only 5 when we moved to Utah, most of the people there thought I was Ashley at first. It was funny when they realized I wasn't, and that I was actually only 19. Bwahahaha, one day I will rule the world with misinterpretations and strange impressions! It's like a talent.

All of this was actually quite fun, so now I'll get to the 'interesting' part, which I'm sure you're all oh so very interested in yourselves. Yes, I'm talking about you. You know you wanna know. I know you know you wanna know. Aaaaaaaand here we go---

So there was this guy my parents knew named after a certain famous LDS prophet. Hahaha. He was their age, maybe a little older. He seemed like a pretty cool successful guy, but that was just my first impression. He stayed and talked to us for a bit. And talked. And talked. And ignored us. And talked. Woof. He talked about himself and his oh so very, very wise business ventures, his success with stocks, his son's success with business, success, success, success. It got to the point where I was staring stoically out the window trying not to be sarcastic, my dad was staring inwards trying not to yawn, my mom was staring over Jo's head trying not to sigh ridiculously loud, and Adam was staring at his hands with his nostrils flared horrendously and squinting to prevent absurd levels of laughter. These things be only the tip of yon ice-berg. Body of afore-mentioned berg as follows: He starts talking about how all his success is due to God's hand. Okay, that's cool. I agree, I'm religious and that's what my beliefs are as well. Yay. But he was RIDICULOUS! Totally overconfident man trying to seem humble by overstating how 'small' a role he played in his own 'enormous' success. I've known plenty of people who were not only more successful at life, but much more successful at being humble as well. Humility not being my strong suit, I know I should have little room to speak, but it gets better, so I must share. Now we're all just sitting with glazed eyes trying to decide on a tactful way to run for our lives, and he starts talking about his work in the temple. Cool. We all try to be respectful of that at least, so we all start listening. I'm still staring out the window, mind you, but I'm listening at least. He's talking about how his grandfather never got to marry his first love because of her untimely death, and how he just recently got the opportunity to seal them together. That's awesome, genuinely cool for him. Kudos cocky man. Kudos. Then strikes a serious case of malopropism, ensuing hilarity soon to follow. We goes on to the next topic, closing his previous topic with "so after consumating their marriage I went on to...." We all stopped listening at this point. Adam looks over at me for a co-conspirator in suppressing histerical laughter. I continue staring out the window and say quietly, "ya, I heard. hehe." My mom leans over without making eye contact and says "we'll have to talk about this later." My mom had to get up and leave.

Now at this point we're all just thinking this man is ridiculous. Then he starts Gospel Grilling my brother. His punchline and point for this was to lead up to "But do you know when the 2nd coming is?" Adam: ".....no.....2015? Hahaha, just kidding, I have no idea. We're not supposed to know." (Awkward laughter as he realizes our self proclaimed faux prophet is being serious) "Do...you?" Jo: "Well....." and here he proceeds to give us some mathematical and symbolic explanation as to why it's going to happen in the year 2030. For sure. Like, he was dead serious. Then he says "It says in the scriptures that no man shall know the day or the time, but it doesn't say we can't know the year. God means what he says and says what he means." Then he stands up and leaves. What an exit.

As my brother and I sit there in complete shock, I lean over and say "This man has a theme song. Would you like to hear it?" Well of course. HERE IT GOES!!!

"IIIIIIII'm holier than thou, I've got the spirit now! I thank God Almighty that I'm holier than thou!!"

Oh so appropriate. I think I peed a little on the ride home from laughing about the importance of consumating the dead before 2030. Heaven forbid we should all be death bed consumators. hehehehehehehehehehehehe. Oh joy, I may now have to be even more often awkward for kicks and giggles. Be prepared.

Ummm....I'm not proof-reading this, soooooooooo....get over it. Hope it makes sense at least.

Peace out my lovely ducks!

Crumbs From Your Table

2010-01-05T20:33:00.000-08:00

I've decided to try to make my blog a little less annoying and a little more fun and interactive. We'll see how that goes (what with all 1 1/2 people that read this). I've been thinking a lot about what fun things to write about and my first topic I've chosen is......(drumroll).......

WORDS I HATE FOR NO GOOD REASON

Now I know this seems totally random, but hey, random is fun right? I've recently noticed a lot of words that bother me, so I thought I'd start keeping a list. Now keep in mind that this was a mental list, and thereby incomplete because my memory SUCKS, but who says I can't add to it later, right? Mauahaha. So here we go.....

1) Supper-It makes me shudder. I want to throw things when I hear people say it.

2) Bathe-I don't know why I hate it so. I can remember in Elementary School the first time I heard it when one of my friends said that she had bathed. I was liked, ummm, you mean bath-ed? No, no, it's bathed. With a long a. Baaaaaaaathd. I hate it. Kill it now.

3) Stew-Now this one's tricky. I think the word's fine if it's pronounced stoo. But it really gets to me when people say it st-ew. Like ewwww! Stew. Like st-(j)ew. Not that I have anything against the word Jew. It's just a suitable pronunciation example. haha. When said st-ew, it makes people sound all prim and proper and fake British. Now if a British person said it and it came out st-ew, I'd be totally fine with that.

4) So I says-I know this one is more of a phrase, but rawr!! It bothers me when people tell a story and use this phrase. So I says to her, how many years have you been speaking English? See? Doesn't that just rankle? Doesn't it irk? It's irksome. Use better grammar.

5) Snack-This one is also tricky. It only bothers me occassionally, and mostly only recently. Snack. Snack. Snaaaaack......I dunno. No me gusta.

6) Slacks-When referring to pants. They're not slacks. They're pants. PANTS.

7) Blouse-Same as above. Just call it a freaking shirt. What are you, an 80 year old homemaker with apple pie on the windowsill? Don't think so. SHIRT.

8) Gouge-This word just makes me itch. It's gross. The end.

9) Lesbian-Whatever the concept, the word itself just bothers me. It's such a slimy phonetic sound. With the lsb sound. Yuck. Admittedly, this one is starting to bother me less and less as I get older. Haha....

Okay.....I'm just making myself all grossed out now. No mas. There are a few other really good ones that I can't think of right now, but maybe I'll remember them soon. There's a somewhat (not really to most people) interesting article I read about how girls are more bothered by words than guys. Being a Linguist, I was intrigued. If you're really bored, here's the link.

The Moist Panties Phenomenon (ahahahaha).

Are there any words you can think of that give you the willies? Words you think should die immediately and never be spoken or written again? Words you hate for no apparent reason but make you violently angry when you hear them? Bring. It. On.

Commando

2009-11-27T12:57:00.000-08:00

What is the most adventuresome thing you've done?

There are two things that I think come in a close tie for first. The first and most obvious one is skydiving. I've been twice in the last year and a half and I plan to go a third time next year if I have the money. I have always loved the feeling of free falling and skydiving is exactly that. I want to go a third time because on the third jump I would be allowed to go without being strapped onto an instructor. Of course, an instructor would still jump with me, otherwise I wouldn't go. I love it, it's an amazing feeling.

The second thing that was adventuresome for me but probably pretty average for most other people was going to RYLA. I got a random phone call one day about going to this youth camp thing. I had no idea what it was all about, but I figured it would look really good on a resume as it had to do with the Rotary Club. I normally tend to ignore things that I don't completely know what they're about, but this time I figured that I should get out of my comfort zone and give it a shot. I went, by myself, to this camp where I was confused out of my mind the entire first day. I had no idea why I was there or why I had been called. Normally people have to apply for the program. I really lucked out I guess. Going to RYLA was one of my favorite experiences and if I hadn't just gotten off my butt and decided to go, I would have missed out on an awesome opportunity. For me, going somewhere like that completely by myself without knowing a single person was REALLY adventuresome. Now I do it all the time, haha. Go me Go!

In The Tunnels

2009-11-26T18:16:00.000-08:00

For Christmas once my mom gave everyone in my family a jar full of questions for us to answer. We got it years ago with the instruction to pull them out as a sort of journal entry topic when we were older, hopefully married with kids. I plan to answer them all later in my life like intended, but I think it will be kind of fun to answer some of them now. So although no one reads these, I'm going to do one occassionally just for fun. Here we go!

Describe family traditions that you remember

One of the biggest, and especially the most memorable today, is playing Nintendo together at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Today is Thanksgiving and, like usual, all the 'kids' got together downstairs and played Tetris, SuperSmash Bros, and SuperMario. We usually play Dr. Mario too, but we haven't gotten to that yet. I don't remember how long ago our silly little Nintendo tradition came about, but I do remember that it was my idea (Go ME!!). I had been thinking about how kind of normal Christmas Eve was, so I asked Adam and Ashley if they wanted to stay up and play Dr. Mario. Ever since then we have done it every year, and now we have Mark and Katrina playing as well.

Our family has never been particularly big on traditions. And we're a little strange. Perhaps that's why our most prominent tradition includes something so nerdy as Nintendo....haha. Another fun tradition we used to have was going to Lake Powell with the Lethbridge family every year. We haven't been for the last two summers because everyone's at the age where we don't have the time to coordinate a week long trip. The year we stopped it was because Adam and Ashley had work and I had Clayton. I think Synergy tour was the same week as our Powell date, or something like that. However it worked, we ended up selling our half of the time share back to the Lethbridges. We all miss it a lot and I hope that once we all are married and settled down that we'll be able to start going again with all of us and our families.

I loved going to Lake Powell every year, if only for the car ride. I love long car rides. It's a fun time to talk, goof off, and anticipate what's to come. Also, Lake Powell is just pure awesomeness. I'm slightly afraid of being in water because I can't see what's beneath me, but Lake Powell has always been worth it. I'm terrible at wakeboarding, but I've started to enjoy tubing in the past few years. I used to hate it because Bud is a sadistic boat driver and I would always get hurt, but now I find that kind of fun. Masocist....haha. It was also fun hanging out with the Lethbridges. We would always watch "What About Bob," "Groundhog Day," and "The Man Who Knew Too Little." Yay for Bill Murray at Powell. I also loved playing games with them. I'm going to miss Lake Powell. :(

Those are the biggest traditions that I can think of....we have a couple Christmas ones like our candy calendar for December, setting up the tree together, and opening presents together in the morning, but those are all kind of the usual traditions that a lot of families have. Although I do have to say that our family is unique in the fact that it's an effort to get Adam, Ashley and I out of bed on Christmas morning. We're all excited for presents, but rather than getting up at 5 or 6 like most kids, we roll out of bed and into the shower at around 9....we're a little lazy. Well, that's not true. We're just not morning people. And it doesn't help that we've usually stayed up until 5 or 6 the night before playing Dr. Mario.

I love my awkward family. :D

Cave

2009-11-21T09:36:00.000-08:00

Heeey.....so I'm having a serious lack of good new music other than Mika right now. Do you guys have any fantastic ideas of music I should listen to??

Be Calm

2009-11-20T11:38:00.000-08:00

I wanted to change the background color on my blog but with no success. Maybe I'll try again later. So basically this week has been a seriously of fantastically awesome failures on my part. There's been one a day so far. Here's a list:

Monday: Slept in through half my classes on accident because I'm AWESOME.

Tuesday: Poured rootbeer all over my computer because I thought it would be AWESOME. My computer actually ended up being more or less okay except for the keyboard which is having some struggles because the rootbeer dried and all the keys are sticking. I pulled the sticky keys off and washed them, which helped, but I wasn't able to wash the mechanisms underneath each key very well. And I accidentally popped the mechanism off the 'c' key and tried to stick it back on myself. So now I may need to go in and get my keyboard cleaned at the Apple store, and I definitely need to get the 'c' key fixed. The most annoying is that it still clicks, it just doesn't show up so I think that I've typed it and I look up and it's not there. Ugh....I'll live. It could've been SO much worse. I'll take it. Oh, I also spilled all over the couch cushion and the pillow. That was nice. Apparently our pillows can go through the washing machine. Who knew? Someone suggested I get one of those protective keyboard covers. I think it's not a bad idea, I'm just worried it'll make it harder to type. Most of my keys are starting to unstick now that I'm using them more. Should I try to fix the 'c' key on my own? Decisions....

Wednesday: Stuck my hand on the stove like an AWESOME person and burned my thumb. Oddly enough it didn't hurt, just burned a really smooth bar onto my finger. No more fingerprint? Not quite that cool.....haha. I'm just glad it wasn't an instant blister. Then I would've had to wear a glove at work, which would've SUCKED.

Thursday: I spilled at work because I thought water all over the floor when I'm in a hurry would be AWESOME. Fortunately it was only two glasses of water and it was only in the aisle. I'm so glad I didn't actually spill ON anyone. Phew** And fortunately I had just handed the table their hot chocolate. Super lucky because most of the spill made it's way onto my pants before hitting the floor. That would've KILLED. Eeek.

So today is Friday and needless to say I'm a little concerned. Can I break the pattern and defy fate? We'll see.

We got our work schedules for the rest of Nov/Dec yesterday. I kind of wish we always got our schedules in month long increments instead of every week. Or at least every two weeks would be nice. I mean, I totally understand why they do it the way they do. I'm just saying. I do appreciate how flexible the schedules are though, so I shouldn't complain at all. I'm pretty excited about the schedule, I'm scheduled a lot more and that will be nice since I need money to pay for Synergy. I made my first payment today. $500!!! Ahhh......my bank account was at $1000 for a while and it felt so nice. No longer.....*sniff* But ya, in a couple weeks it should be right back up there. My only qualm is that Nick appears to have accidentally scheduled me for one of the days I asked off. I say accidentally because he said that everyone who asked for days off got them off. Oops Nick, oops. The day I'm scheduled for just happens to be the day I have a test for one of my online classes. Kind of important.... I'll just have to talk to him on Saturday.

Ok, last thing I'll say for now is that the new Mika CD is pretty much the most fantastic thing I've ever heard in my life. Just a little tidbit for ya. If you don't know who Mika is, shame on you. Listen to his music. It'll change your life. Haha.

We're Made Of Star Speck

2009-11-11T22:19:00.000-08:00

So life's been pretty dang awesome for me right about now. I've been really enjoying my classes at school, which I have to admit is somewhat depressing when you realize that most of my classes are grammar in some form or another. I've found the U to be much more enjoyable than the Y for a lot of different reasons. I did like some things about the Y, but it's so much more comfortable on campus at the U. I felt like I was always being watched at the Y, people always wondering what I was doing anywhere. At the U I can sit down in the middle of the hallway and get on my computer and no one else questions it. It's really nice. :D Hahaha, I also like how much less.....uptight everyone is. I can say this because I'm an uptight mormon, but most of the people at BYU had a stick up their bums. I must've missed the week at church when they handed those out. Ah well, better for me. Now that the semester's winding down it's about time to register for my Spring semester classes. Terrifying thought.... I was going over the different job possibilities for me if I major in Linguistics, and I found a few that I like. I'm considering maybe minoring in computer science as well, that way I could work on some sort of computer linguistic program or search engine. Or I could work for the FBI or something, muahahaha. I don't really know what I'm going to do at this point. It's kind of scary, as I'm sure you all know. Decisions like this always are, so I should just buck up and get over it. It's not like I can't do something else later.

I got a job finally!! Well, I got it about two months ago, but that's besides the point. I'm working at Desert Star as a server and it's actually a lot of fun. It's nice because a lot of the new people have already graduated from high school. It's the excessive amounts of 17 year olds that concerned me at first, but I'm getting along just fine with everyone I work with. And it's nice to finally be making money. I think the best part for me is that I get to take most of it home with me everyday, so I am actually able to see a return for my work almost immediately. I like that a lot.

I'm trying to save up my money for Synergy next year. Yes, I'm doing it again. Rehearsals start in January and I am sooo excited!! We're going to the Philipines next year, which I'm sure will be awesome. Auditions were maybe three weeks ago and Kim's been harassing me for those entire three weeks to find MORE BOYS!! AHHH!!! I've asked a couple though, so we'll see how that works out. There's one I'm kind of excited about and I hope he'll do it. That'd be awesome. But ya, I've been looking forward to doing Synergy again ever since we finished last time. It's the only thing that got me through 2 semesters of BYU, looking forward to being able to be at home again and doing Synergy. It's nice to have such a close group of random people. Clayton is my high school, but much less dramatic. I'm so much more excited this time than last time too because I know the people in it so much better already. Last time I was one of the youngest and it was kind of nerve wracking because I sometimes felt like I shouldn't take my place in the group for granted. I mean, I shouldn't, but I should've been a little more....outgoing maybe? Ah well, this year will be so much fun. :D

That's about it for now. I just wanted to get out all the awesome things happening to me right now because I want to make sure I'm not taking things for granted. I'm so grateful for what I have right now! My life is taking a turn for the less-boring and although that sounds really dorky, it's seriously saving my sanity. Adam can attest to the life boredom that we were going through and now it's finally starting to go away for me. It's awesome! :D You're all maniacs! PEAce OUt!!

Crazy Life

2009-08-15T18:06:00.000-07:00

So in case any of you have ever wondered, my blog titles usually have nothing to do with what I write about. I always pick the title of the song I'm listening to when I first start. Or, if the song if lame and retarded (like "Prelude to the afternoon of a faun") I press the skip button until I get one I like. So ya, just if you were wondering. This particular song is one I've had on my computer for a long time but I've never actually heard. It's from the Coil album by Toad the Wet Sprocket. Weird....the word sprocket reminds me of Lake Powell. Do you guys remember that giant hornet that was living in the railing? Spigot, that's what we named him. Why'd we name him that? He came out of a spigot....?? Hahaha

I haven't written a blog for a while now, and though nothing I've written about has really been that interesting, I honestly have not been able to think of anything to write about this summer. A lot of things have been happening lately though, and I'm starting to get my anxious beginning of school feeling. I forgot how much I liked that feeling. I'll be starting school again in a week and I have to admit that I'm actually very excited. Especially because I'll be living at home this time and don't have to worry so much. I'm way less nervous. Yay for the U!

But ya, like I said, a lot of things have been going on, most of which I'm excited about. I just started Freaky Fridays at Clayton, which is a halloween show at my dance studio. There's usually only a Christmas show and a spring time show, but this year Kim (the director) has decided to try out seasonal shows. Hence Freaky Fridays! It's not what I'm used to at Clayton, but I have to admit that the change is a lot of fun. It's always interesting to try something new. The show is going to be at Wheeler Farm during October and I still haven't decided whether it's supposed to be scary or not. I think the general idea at first was that it WAS supposed to be, but seeing as how it's Clayton, we haven't come anywhere close, hahaha. I get to dress up like a zombie though!! I'm so excited! The costumes are going to be like Thriller and we're each in charge of our own costumes, so I don't have to worry about it not fitting and all that jazz. I'm excited to buy something and then just totally rip and burn it to shreds. Woot!

Along with having a lot of fun at Freaky Fridays, it's also been a major wake up call to see how out of shape I've been this past year. Good grief. My thighs are still so sore from rehearsal on Wednesday that I can barely walk. Well, I can walk now, but tackling the stairs is still an event....But ya, I've been realizing that no matter how much I may hate running and things like that, they're really important and I've got all the wrong muscles all buffed up. I need to balance it out a bit. Hahaha. If that made sense

Another thing that's happened lately, or I guess, will happen soon, is my friend Natalie moving to California for the semester. I'm most definitely NOT excited for her to be gone for four months, but I can't begrudge her for choosing to go work at Disney. I seriously thought about doing that myself but I felt strongly that I should stay and graduate from college first. (When I say 'felt strongly', I don't mean inspired or anything, it just made a whole lot of sense to me to stay and finish) I'm afraid that if I went to Disney I would love it so much that I wouldn't be able to come back and just finish boring old college. But ya, I'm going to miss her a lot. She's been one of my constant friends since I was....I dunno....six or seven?? Since we met. She's been my best friend basically my whole life and I'm sad she's going away. :( But she'll come back and I'm not one for sad goodbyes and all that jazz, so I haven't been too upset about it. I can always text/email/call/facebook her and all that. Yay for technology!

Another thing lately is that I've also been considering joining the Air Force. Completely random and a half, I know! I mean, I don't really want to be in the army and have that whole never being home issue, but it's just something I've been thinking about it. I dunno, what do you guys think?

I've been looking for a job lately too. Woof. That's been interesting. I think it will be a lot easier to find a job once school starts. A lot of people will be quiting before school starts and I'm planning on taking one of their spots. I only have classes on Monday and Wednesday afternoons, so my schedules pretty open now. I would really love working somewhere like the Mayan or in a bookstore. I want to get a job at Barnes and Noble, mostly for the discount, but I actually think that would be a lot of fun. At this point though, I'll take JUST about anything. Haha.

Ya, well, I want to write more and there's been a lot more going on, but I tend to be very longwinded, so I'll stop for now. May the force be with you!! :P

99 Red Balloons

2009-07-08T17:10:00.000-07:00

So I've decided on a fun new twist to my 100 goals list. My newest goal is to send off a red balloon each time I accomplish something on my list. I'll write the goal on it and let it off into the sky to harass some poor stranger downwind. I'm pretty excited.

I just got back from a family trip to Seattle and I'm not gonna lie, I wanna go back really badly. It was so much fun. It gave me a little peace of mind that I've been losing as we've all been growing older. Family holidays and vacations are all different as we're growing older, going to college, getting married, and moving out. I haven't been having a hard time adjusting, I've just been looking back on the past and missing it. This trip was just a little bit of the past. My entire family came, including Mark, and we all had a blast. We did the classic things like going to the zoo, and I even made friends with my cousin who I never got along with when we were younger. All in all, this has been a good month so far and I'm hoping to keep it going. :D

Whatever I Fear

2009-06-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

So as I'm sitting here watching my brother play Tales of Symphonia, I'm realizing just how sad my life is. Haha. I've been applying for jobs (not super zealously, I'll admit) with no luck, but it's an ongoing process. I've been meaning to go apply at Jimmy John's since they're hiring, so maybe I'll do that tomorrow. Does anyone have any brilliant ideas of where I could work? And while we're at it, does anyone have any brilliant ideas of where my brother could work? He's been looking for a job for the past couple months and it's much harder for him than it is for me, mostly because he's having to look for a professional job while I'm able to work at fast food places and such. He applied at a company in Boston and for a while I suffered from the fear that he would actually get that one and move out of the state. Bad news for him but good news for me, they didn't want him. Phew!!

Monday is my birthday and today was the day we celebrated as a family. I admit I had a lot of fun, although I always lose when we play a family game (this time being no exception). I will admit to having some serious brother envy though. I'm so used to him being here all the time that it's weird when he's gone every night with his girlfriend. Sigh, guess I'll just have to make some other friends (Yay Celeste!!). I'm excited for my birthday this year, which is strange. It's not like anything all that exciting is happening since I'm just turning nineteen, but for some reason I've been looking forward to it for weeks. Maybe it's because I have nothing else to do that I'm so excited about this. Who knows? Haha :P

I've been trying to be a good girl the past few days and actually get up at a decent time (decent meaning before 12:00). Except for Tuesday, I've actually done pretty well this week. This morning I even got up at 6:00!! That's a big deal for me! Of course I HAD to get up because I had rehearsal, but that's besides the point. It's so much easier to motivate myself to get out of bed when I actually have something worthwhile to do during the day.

Rehearsals have been fun and have given me something to do lately, thank heavens. The rehearsals are for the play Beauty and the Beast at Murray Community Arts in the Park. We start performances next Wednesday and I'm pretty excited about it, not gonna lie. We've all been worried about the run since it's been raining pretty much constantly for the last two weeks, but our director told us that if worst comes to worst we'll just trot on over to Murray High with some set pieces and make do. That's better than cancelling and that's all I was really worried about. The show is pretty stress free for me right now. It's funny because I auditioned for this play on a whim at the last minute and now it's turned into one of the funnest things I've ever done. Ok, maybe not EVER, but it's definitely up there. I'm just really glad that I did it and really greatful that I got in. I've made so many great friends and it's helped me on my quest to be able to do things on my own!!

I have a huge problem with going places without someone else with me. Kind of like how girls can't go to the bathroom without a buddy, I feel like I can't go anywhere without one. I'm always worried about not knowing what to do and just standing around like a tardo or getting lost, but recently I've been forcing myself to do things alone and it's fortunately been turning out very well. It almost makes me wish I'd started doing it before, haha, but not quite. I know this is a silly thing to be so glad about, but I've always felt uncomfortable. It's a nice feeling to start getting over something that's been a problem for years.

Ok, well enough rambling. I'll finish here and leave it for a while again. I'm planning on cutting my hair pretty short after the play is over, and possibly adding some highlights and streaks just for kicks and giggles. I've never done anything with my hair and I figure it'll be fun to try it just once. Plus, my hair grows fast enough that if it looks horrible I won't have to worry about it for long! So anyways, I'll let you know how that turns out!

Open Book

2009-06-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

So to steal this idea from Celeste, this is my Wordle. It's not nearly as cool as hers, but it's still interesting to see. The idea is that it takes the words you use more often and makes them bigger, so apparently I talked a lot about concerts NOW!! Hahaha. I'll make sure that the next time I post a blog, it'll have a little more variety. :P

Blimey!

2009-06-04T00:37:00.000-07:00

So in the spirit of my last post (Which I made about 5 minutes ago....) I would just like to mention my undying, totally teenage-girl LOVE for The Dr. - What I wouldn't GIVE to be Rose Tyler!! Sigh..... I found out that they actually sell life size cardboard cut-outs of the Tardis. I most definitely want one right now! I was giggling like a silly little girl for about 20 minutes after I found out. Oh man. Talk about truly genius cinema. The british know what's going on.

So you really must forgive my complete obsession with Dr. Who. I've never heard this song before, but after a short search around Youtube (which is the bomb.com), I found it and I've gotta say that it makes me just plain giddy. Boo-friggin-YA!

Don't Hassle the Hoff

2009-06-04T00:22:00.000-07:00

This has been my favorite music video for a LONG time. I've never quite been able to decide what my favorite part is. Is it the dancing disco bear? The fish in mouth? The temper tantrum in the air or the flying motorcycle? The bouncing alien? The slightly pedofilic insinuations with little girl angels? The clone Hoff that flies behind himself and grabs his own butt? Ya, I think it's that one. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I always have. I think I'm in love. Bahahaha!!!

Tornado Lessons

2009-04-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

School is over next week! Just one hectic week of driving between Murray and Provo, rehearsals, moving all my stuff home, cleaning the apartment, and taking finals! Then I'm free!! Ah, it's such a wonderful....hopeful feeling. :D

I woke up this morning feeling mildly anxious. I procrastinate, a lot, and so right now my brain's a little like, holy crap, I have to finish everything real quick! Whoops! Hahaha, it's a problem sometimes. So ya, the problem this morning was when I woke up thinking about the two tests I have to take this weekend, along with the fact that I have to attend two concerts this week for my music 101 class (week meaning before monday), one piano recital/performance for my piano class (not sure when this has to be done), and one show with tapping in it for, surprise, my tap class. I was worried because I had no idea where I was gonna find two concerts this weekend, but to my relief during my break between classes I realized that I had been looking at the wrong date on the byu performances calendar. Instead of there being absolutely no performances tomorrow, there are a million! I was apparently looking at last week. So moral of the story is that now I have two performances I can go to tomorrow. Now I just need to find some tap and piano performance. Any ideas? Haha

But ya, finding those two concerts really took off a lot of pressure and annoyance from my brain. :P I was kicking myself for saving them all for this weekend. In my defense, I already did six of the concerts. I actually had time to do all of them a long, long time ago, but hey, what am I gonna do about it now? Exactly.

Another thing that happened today, which was amazing, was the answer to an unspoken prayer. :D I had been hoping for something, but afraid to outright pray for it because it seemed stupid and all that jazz, but it totally worked out anyways! I love it when that happens. It makes me so grateful.

So now the only thing I really have to worry about at the moment is driving back to Provo tomorrow. I mean, driving here isn't the problem. The problem is rationalizing having to make the extra trip to my parents. Maybe we'll just keep this one a secret (shhh!). I'm going back to Murray tonight, after I babysit my cousins, because I have rehearsal tomorrow morning. Then I need to be in Provo for the concerts (at 2 and 7) and to take my two tests. I guess it kind of works out well. I was wondering how I was going to fit these tests in without coming back on Saturday, and now I don't really have a choice. I bought a ticket to the concert at 7 tomorrow, so now I don't really have a choice of whether or not I should go. I paid, so I'll be there. Plus, it's kind of my last chance to go to a concert before the assignment's due....haha.

So basically, this is my unnecessary information from today that I felt the strange urge to share with ya'll. Aren't you feeling pretty darn special right about now? Good. You should. You should all also go check out Adam's website. He's been posting little comics every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Some are really funny, some are a little goofy, and some are just plain weird. But hey, that's Adam, so what do you really expect? It's worth it though, you should go look.

Go Button Animation

And ya, everybody wish me luck on my tests, and with getting myself out of bed on time tomorrow morning. Also, if anyone happens to randomly know of any piano recitals or concerts in the next few days, by all means let me know. Or any showings of like, Thoroughly Modern Millie or Singin' In The Rain or something. I doubt it, but I figured I'd check.

Have a great weekend everyone! :D

Short Trip Home

2009-04-02T21:50:00.000-07:00

So I'm kind of sort of stealing Stacey's idea of having a song of the moment, but this is rather a song of the last million moments, if that makes any sense. I've heard this song a lot lately and it's been stuck in my head. I just think that it has some very interesting lyrics. It's kind of cool to just listen to the lyrics rather than the song. Anyways, I put it up here for your entertainment. :D I don't know how to add a song to my blog, otherwise I'd put it up for you to hear it too.

The Story Of The Grandson Of Jesus

Today is a good day to flex the muscles of the weary.

A miracle's a miracle even when it's ordinary.

We will walk on the water even though it seems scary

If someone will show us the way.

I shook hands with the man who honestly thinks he's

The grandson of Jesus with a penchant for pinchies.

He served us communion of cola and twinkies

Guess everyone has their own view.

He stood on his soapbox and told us a parable

Of a man with eye-glasses so small they're unwearable,

And the moral of the story is that all looks terrible

Depending on what you look through, what you look through.

He said, "Do unto yourself as you do unto your neighbor.

It's not an eye for an eye, it's a favor for a favor.

And it's okay if this world had a billion saviors

Cause there's so many things to be saved."

Take my words with a boulder of salt

Or blame it on your devil, always the scape-goat's fault.

We all point fingers when it comes to a halt.

Will somebody show show us the way?

Show us the way......

http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#cloud%20cult/9

A Miracle's a Miracle Even When It's Ordinary

2009-03-30T14:14:00.000-07:00

So you know how you often have those random periods of enlightenment in your life where you find out that you really don't know anything? Maybe that's just me, but I've definitely been having one for a while now. It's so weird. I'm not saying that I know a lot, but I got to a point where I couldn't reasonably accept the fact that the human brain could hold so much information consciously at one time. That sounds really weird, but hopefully I'll be able to make a little more sense.

I always feel like when I learn something new, I forget something else. Like I can only hold so much information before my brain starts recycling. Like I know all I can know at this moment. I know thatmight sound completely retarded, but what are you gonna do, right? Haha.

It's just funny to see how much my perspectives on so many things have been changed since I moved out and started going to college. I mean, I go home ALL the time, so it's not like a huge change or anything, but still, I've been somewhere that's not Murray or Clayton for the last 8 months. It's interesting to see what things are different. What things matter to people that I never thought about before. Things that I accepted as normal, but really were only normal where I had grown up.

I expect a cultural leap when I go to a different state or country, but it's just so strange to me to have one just 40 minutes from my home. There's people here at BYU from so many different states and cultures, and it's amazing to see them all come together and be a part of it in my own unusual way. If I try to look past the creepy things I dislike about Provo, it's actually pretty amazing. (This is for all the people I made feel nervous about coming to BYU :P) BYU is the 2nd most desired school to get into in the whole US. People try so hard and put so much effort into getting accepted. They work to get scholarships and move so far away from home, just for this opportunity. And here I am wanting more than anything to get out. It makes me feel a little strange.

I feel a little ungrateful. I'm very grateful for the scholarship that I got, and for the opportunity to come to BYU, but the fact that I didn't really work that hard for it makes me feel weird. I mean, I didn't work any harder than usual, so maybe I'm just used to it, but I don't know.

One of my new favorite quotes is one that I pass every time I come back to Provo from Murray. It's flashed up along with a few others on the sign at Thanksgiving Pointe. It says, "Only a mediocre person is always at his best." The first few times I read it I didn't really think about it, but one time as I was driving past it, it just made sense. I had been sitting there thinking about how I feel like such a slacker because I feel like I haven't had to work for many of the opportunities that I've been given in my life, and because of that, I always feel so guilty and unworthy when I don't do perfectly.

There are so many of these things, like being in Synergy, getting to go to RYLA, getting into BYU with a scholarship, etc. I feel like I'm an ungrateful person for not being at my best. That quote made me feel so much better because it just reminded me of the fact that everything is a process, and only a mediocre person is at their best. If I was perfect, what fun would there be? There'd be no more to learn, there'd be nothing to work for, and nothing to overcome.

My brother was talking about how he liked pain. I joked and called him a freaky masochist, but I knew what he meant. He didn't mean that he enjoyed being hurt, what he meant was that he enjoyed being able to overcome something like that. Being able to trip and fall on your face and stand up with a black eye and just laugh it off. To prove that you're more powerful than the physical. I like that so much. We can overcome something so simple.

I know I may not be making sense or connecting in the way I mean to, but as I always say, I'm writing this mostly for my own benefit, and if someone else gets something out of it, GREAT!! :D If not, whatever, just don't hate me because it's long, hahaha.

But anyways, these two things go together so well for me right now. I have to overcome my insecurities about not being perfect, and stop second guessing myself. Yesterday in church there were two things that really stood out to me. One was when the bishop was answering questions (Not to copy you or anything Stace, I promise it's something different!), and I can't remember the exact question he was answering, but he was talking about how impossible perfection is. I admit, I was only half listening because I'm a dork, but some part of me picked up the parts I needed to hear. It's okay to be imperfect, as long as we're trying our hardest. The other thing was one of the girls who was bearing her testimony (I think it was Jae Dansie) and she mentioned that she had faith in the little things, like praying to find your keys, but had a harder time when it came to the bigger things.

I don't have that exact problem, but it seemed somewhat similar to me still. I've had a lot of time to think in my car (the best place because no one's there to distract me!!) and I've been thinking about faith. I have faith, I've always had faith, but my biggest problem is that while I have undoubting faith in God, I doubt people, mostly myself. Kind of like how people can have the faith TO heal, but the people also need the faith to BE healed. I don't doubt when I hear or see miracles, like a story my uncle told before he died about a dream he had. I won't share that, because I don't know if it's too personal to my family, but it's one of the big faith things that I have never doubted. But there are things like being healed, or receiving answers to prayers, where I just don't have enough faith in myself. It's like I'm saying to myself, why should I deserve this? Why would God help me with this when he doesn't have to? I mean, I know the answers, I've been taught them my entire life, but for some reason I'm just having trouble with it. And it's like, I can prayer for faith that my prayers are answered, and I receive that with the little things, like I pray to be able to help someone, and I do. Or I pray to know what to do, and I know. But there are some things that I think, I can't pray about this until I'm more worthy of God's help. I hate thinking that way, because how do I become worthy of his help without his help? It's a stupid paradox that I've set up in my brain and can't seem to get rid of.

That's why I've been so grateful to be able to come back to Murray and be with my friends who are so faithful in that way in particular. I hear stories from them that I'm sure they don't realize I think about so much, but they help me in such unexpected ways. Like I told Stacey with the movies and how desensitized I had become. She off-handedly mentioned something about how uncomfortable a particular scene had made her and I had to seriously think for a long time about what scene she had possibly been talking about. When I finally realized which one she meant, I felt a little guilty, haha. I had thought it was pretty tame, but I was COMPARING it to other movies. Bad idea. If I rationalize which movies I watch by comparing them to each other, what good is that going to do me since ALL of the movies are getting worse? I need to pick a line that doesn't move even if the rating system does.

It's little things like that which make me really realize the things I need to be focusing on and the things that will help me. Thanks friends :D Haha, you're the best.

Another one of my favorites is when Jon was saying the prayer before a performance for Synergy and he said, instead of the all too common "please bless us to perform to the best of our abilities," he snuck in "please bless us to perform to the best of thy ability." I wasn't sure if I had heard correctly or if he had done it on purpose until I asked him later (yes to both), but it struck me really hard all of a sudden at that performance. Tying in the rest of my rant, I'm not using my own ability for anything, I'm using God's ability. Or rather, he's letting me. It's through him and the spirit that I have a brain in the first place (yes, I'm pretty sure it's there) and can hold so much more information than I can possibly fathom right now. It's because of him that I can have the opportunity to work my way through my own problems, and even if I feel unworthy or lacking even if I'm working hard, it just means that I'm progressing. It's through him that I have great friends that can help me realize my own faith and help me keep my own standards. In short, I LOVE LIVING!!! Even if it's scary sometimes :D

Woot. I swear one of these days I'm gonna scare you all off with how longwinded I am, but whatever. Deal with it. Buahahahaha!!!! Much love!

Daaaaaaaa DAAAAaaaaa DAAAAAAAAAAAaaa DADA (dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum)..........

2009-03-27T18:51:00.000-07:00

So I would like to just take a second to talk about my rotten luck today. Well, not necessarily today, but right now. So in my astronomy class my teacher mentioned how we have our projects due in a couple weeks. One of the girls in my class wanted to do them together, which I was more than happy to agree to. So we decided last second that we would come tonight to use the telescope.

Unfortunately, the telescope and observation deck are only open from 8-10 tonight, and my last class ended at 4:30. So I sat around for 3 1/2 hours, getting some things accomplished and watching Dr. Who (hahaha). I was feeling pretty good until I got here and she wasn't here. I'm a little worried that she won't make it because her facebook status says that she just got sick to her stomach, again, about an hour ago. This is NOT a good sign. And it's not like there's any way she can really let me know since we don't have each other's phone numbers or anything.

And if she doesn't show up, then I'm gonna be way too chicken to go do them by myself, and this will have all been just a fun little chill on campus......right.

AND to top it all off, my computer's about to die. So even if she were to facebook me to let me know she isn't going to make it, I probably won't know until I'm home anyways because my computer will be DEAD.

LAME

.......so needless to say, I hope she makes it :D

Love, Love Changes Everything

2009-03-20T09:07:00.000-07:00

WARNING: This post contains annoying discussions about things that bug the crap out of me, so if you don't want to be annoyed, don't read it. You've been warned. :D

I just have to express my.....current frustration with some people. Some people are so over worried about things that I personally don't think matter very much. It's upsetting. I mean, I hate getting into discussions that are controversial and are going to make people upset, but I'm seriously just sick of sitting around and listening to people say things that I think are so misguided.

Some people wonder, for instance, why people are so worried about things like language when there are other things like death and torture going on in the world. Now Mark, chill. I want to give you my opinion on this and I know you're the one that's gonna get all uppity about the next couple paragraphs :P. I'm worried about language because language expresses how we feel. If I swear, that means that I don't respect who I'm talking to/about. It means that I'm trying to hurt them. I feel like a lot of problems are started by people who can't control their language. Also, many people are worried about those other things just as much, but what are they going to do about it? We have what we have and nothing is going to change that. We do what we can, but we shouldn't let other things bother us unduly.

Yes, people are concerned about animals dying and being tortured, and while I am as well, I don't feel like that is such a pressing issue as people make it out to be (sorry). I honestly feel that the biggest problem is the attitude that people have when they do things like that. There are people who torture animals because they think it's fun. That's wrong, I agree. Those people should be smacked upside the head. However, all death causes pain, and while I may be disgusted by the way animals are treated in slaughter houses and such, I'm not going to stop eating them. Protein is important, and without killing animals to eat, the human race wouldn't be here. Sorry, but it's the truth. We're not rabbits, so......

People are concerned that we're not doing our part. Grow up. Just because we don't flaunt the things we do, doesn't mean we don't care. We don't always have to stand up and fight for peace. Sometimes living peacefully is enough. Sometimes quietly helping without condemning people is the best thing we can do. I know that I'm being a little hypocritical right now because I'm sitting here ranting, but I'm sorry. Get over it :P.

There are things that need our support, and while they may not be perfect, they are still good. Like the government. In reality, in truth, we're not going to change the government to the way we want it to run. Along the lines of Winston Churchhill, democracy SUCKS but it's the best we have. I personally think that our government would be better with a parliament and universal healthcare, but I still support the government that we have right now. Even if prop. 8 hadn't passed, I would still support the government. Until the government goes completely corrupt and takes away the freedoms that I feel are owed to us as citizens, I'm going to support it, no matter how much I might disagree with it. People who call themselves patriotic and then rebel against the government, misinterpret things, and try to persuade others to rebel with them-those people are NOT Americans! Sure, there are times when petitions and demonstrations are necessary and good, but I think people get carried away.

The job of the government isn't to please YOU. The job of the government is to protect the rights of as many of its citizens as it can at one time. It's impossible to please people who want completely opposite things. Somebody's going to be upset everytime the government does something, and everybody's going to be upset by the government at some time or another, some more than others.

Alright, now I know this is annoying and exactly what I said I hate, but I couldn't help it. I have so many things that I want to say to people, but I don't want to argue. I want to get my feelings across in a good way, but I'm too impatient to do that sometimes. That is obviously something I need to work on, but in the meantime, you get this :P.

The moral of my story is that people do care. People as a whole will generally tend to make righteous decisions, and when I say righteous I'm not trying to push religion or anything. I just mean good, healthy decisions. Well, I guess I am trying to push religion a little, but whatever..... :P. Haha. We can only be happy if we want to be. If we try to take on the burdens of the entire world, we aren't going to be able to help anybody. We have to help ourselves first, and then help others by means that are possible for us while still maintaining our own happiness. Once I'm happy, it's easier to help others. I'm not going to go out of my way to do service when I'm angry at the world, or when I'm sick or unhappy. Sorry, I know this isn't how it should be, but it's how it is. I do service and help others when I am happy and my life is in order. Also, we can't take all the problems of the world on ourselves because that will just make us depressed and make us pity those who are less fortunate than us. I think one of the most offensive things people can give is pity. People don't need our pity. They don't want our pity. Sometimes people want our silent help. If we make a big deal of their problems, it is quite possible that more damage is being done than help. People are proud, and our pity is annoying.

Alright, I'll stop now, for your sakes. Rant done. End. :D

So You Say You Want A Revolution

2009-03-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

So I've been having dreams lately that I wouldn't quite classify as nightmares, but to me they're just as bad. I've never really had many dreams. I usually have them when I'm sick or really busy or something, but only really ever at home. Maybe that's why I'm having weird dreams now....because I'm NOT living at home. Hmmmm....

My whole life all my dreams have been like, well, video games or movies. I dream about what I watched on tv that day, or I have strange dreams where I have to stay out of the line of sight of the purple gorillas or I'll get smacked with their clubs. Whatever. They've never really been anything all that cool or unusual. I've had the purple gorilla dream more than once, and there's only ever been one other dream that I've had twice. That one's my favorite to think about. Heehee.

This dream was the most unusual because, like I said, I had it more than once. The unusual part, though, was that the second time I knew what was going to happen. I kept saying, I've had this dream before, but for some reason it was all still real. I had to STOP what was happening. If it's a dream, why should I care. I distinctly remember knowing it was a dream. It was a funny dream. The Joker from Batman, old school Batman of course (the new one wasn't out then :D), was disguised as a girl for some reason, and going out with my brother. The second time, I KNEW it was the Joker and I tried to tell him, but he just wouldn't listen. He was under some kind of influence, because he was being a total jerk, which is very unlike him in any situation. Well, I can't say if the dream ever really ended, but the last thing I remember both times was the Joker's head in the clouds above me yelling at me and telling me to stop trying to ruin all his plans, blah, blah, blah. I'm sure the dream was a little scarier when I was younger, but everytime I remember it I can't help but laughing.

My dreams the past few months, though, have been very strange. Especially the last couple weeks. They're not nightmares by any stretch. I've only ever had one nightmare that I can remember, and that one was when I was on Tylenol. Apparently I'm allergic and it makes me hallucinate. Fun! Hahaha.....

Anyways, the dreams have been a little disconcerting and comforting at the same time. They're not random, they're about things that I've been talking to people about or thinking about a lot lately, but I don't like seeing them visualized. It's one thing to think about something and another thing to experience it. Again. I'm good with not having these things EVER happen in real life. I'm not one for all the phsyciological crap, but apparently something's worrying me. The fact that these dreams have just been lately makes me think it's my moving to Provo.

Not that there's anything wrong with moving out. I'm not all homesick and whiney, well, maybe a little, but I really just don't like being in Provo. Nothing wrong with BYU, just Provo. The people are just....very different. I have a personality that does NOT fit with BYU. While BYU may be the better school for the things I want to do, I don't think that I can ever stay here. I'm switching to the U next semester, much to my relief, and I'm really glad. I've met people who go to the U, and it's a lot more laid back than it is here in Happy Valley. Especially compared to where I live. The people at the Branbury, while nice, definitely have a little issue with pride. Not like I'm the most humble person in the world, but seriously! These people are just kind of condescending sometimes. Again, I admit, I'm also condescending, but I like to think that I'm not this bad. I just feel downright uncomfortable around a lot of the people here. Some people I've met are amazing, and I've become friends with them really quickly. The thing that makes me laugh is that I have found out, in most cases, that those people are also desperate to get out of here. I'm glad I'm not the only one like me.

I'm so excited to move back this summer. I'm going to get a job, which will be new for me, but hopefully good. Also, Clayton (my dance studio) is doing a show this October that I will hopefully get to be in. I would probably cry if I wasn't. I'm so excited about that because I've been looking forward to doing Synergy (the college age group) since last September. I would have to wait an entire year still, but now I have something to look forward to in less than half of one. It's a comforting thought.

Well, I guess all in all, I'm a little perturbed by my dreams, but hopefully once everything is back to the way I feel it should be, they won't bother me as much anymore. I hope that once I'm out of Provo the dreams will stop. It's all fine and dandy to have a bad dream, but now I'm thinking about them all day and that's not distracting AT ALL........

I'm over it! :D

You can't fly if you don't JUMP

2009-03-11T10:28:00.000-07:00

Holy crap! After posting this I realized how OBSCENELY LONG it is! Gosh! Seriously, I won't feel bad if no one reads it. I'm sure you all have things to do. I wrote this whole thing for my own benefit, so really, don't feel bad. It's really, really, really long. Good grief......

I've been having this really annoying feeling of panic lately, and I'm not sure how to make it go away. It's a funny feeling for me. I've never felt overworried or stressed about anything that I can remember. Things don't bug me very much, and if they do, not for very long. Like tests. I don't usually worry about tests until the day before or the day of. I figure, what's the point of worrying myself all the time about them and just making myself tired and anxious? Why worry about things I can't change. I'd rather worry about things I can change and then do something about it. Then I can stop worrying about THAT. :D If that wasn't confusing enough.....hahaha.

I decided, however, that this feeling of panic is NOT stress. It's more like anxiety. I know we all live for a pretty decent amount of time, but there's so many things to do during that time. There's a million things I want to do that I probably won't be able to once I'm married, A) because we won't have the money; B) because we won't have the time and won't be able to take work off; and C) because I might have kids. Don't get me wrong, I definitely want to get married and have kids. Hence the feeling of panic. How am I going to get all of these things done that I want to do before I get married and start having a life? I wanna be selfish for a while. I understand that I'll be able to do some of these things later in life when my kids are grown up and have moved out and all that jazz, but I feel like I won't be able to do all of them in time. Or maybe I won't be able to because I'll be an old cripple with memory loss, hahaha.

There's also things that I want to do that I would HAVE to do before getting married. I want to spend a semester working at Disneyland or Disneyworld as an entertainer. I want to live in a foreign country for a while. I want to backpack across Europe and listen to the throat singing monks in Tibet :D I want to get my skydiving license, and I'm not sure if I feel right about skydiving when I have young kids. I still haven't decided that because while it's not a huge risk, it's still a risk. I don't want to be overlystupid. Plus, it'll make our insurance cost more.

When I was car shopping with my dad a couple years ago, we met this guy named John Johnson (Poor guy, I know) at Wendy's. My dad knew him from work somehow, I'm not sure. They never worked together, but they knew each other well enough that we all sat down and talked while we ate. That guy was really amazing. He had been an EMT and a teacher, he was a licensed scuba diver and all kinds of other crazy things. I want to be like that. I don't necessarily want to be an EMT and work in an ambulance my whole life, but I'd love knowing that I could save someone's life if I was in that situation. I would love doing that for a while. Not forever, but a while. I want to be versatile and be able to have fun.

My dad always jokes around with us (his kids) about taking over his position in his business when he's done. I actually wouldn't mind doing that, but by no means would I want that to be the only thing I did. Maybe I could be like this John Johnson character and just work as a financial planner part time. Be a fun enough person that a few really big clients would just seek me out and want me as their planner because I'm successful AND ridiculously cool. (Hahaha, I'm saying most of this for fun, but seriously :P)

I want to take classes in genetics and learn how to make a glow in the dark fish that I could keep in a tank :D It's possible, I checked. There're fish that have a glowy gene that are too big or expensive or whatever to put in a normal tank, but if I could extract the gene and put it into something else, like a shark fish or an electric fish (those would probably be easier since they already have a glowy stripe), then maybe I could have a glow in the dark fish! Hahaha

I want to learn how to shoot a gun and get a permit to carry one. Not that I ever would, but I'd like knowing that I could if I wanted to. And be able to hit what I'm aiming for.

I always joke around how I want to be a ninja, and while I'm totally teasing, I want to learn (or at least attempt to learn) some form of martial arts. Enough that I could fully kick someone's butt if I needed to and I didn't happen to be carrying my gun :P

I want to get a license to scuba dive, despite the fact that I'm scared of water. Part of this is because I want to get over being scared of water, but another part is because while I'm terrified of being eaten, I've always been fascinated by underwater creatures. They're just so darn cool.

I want to get a license to skydive, and be able to take other people with me. I figure that I could get a lot of my friends, who are too scared to go right now, to go if I was jumping tandem with them. There's something to be said for safety when they know me and they know that I wouldn't put my own life in reckless danger. If they were strapped onto me, then I would die when they did. I'd be their garuantee. :D And I think it'd be hilarious to watch all of my friend's terrified faces. Muahaha

I want to be in a movie or a tv series. Not a big part, although that would obviously be the most fun. I just want to be able to sit on my couch and point to the tv and say, HEY, THAT'S ME!! It doesn't even have to be a show that anybody watches. In fact, I'd prefer being on something like Stargate or Dr. Who. One of those nerdy shows that I'm obsessed with and can quote and no one else knows what I'm talking about. Hahaha

I want to record a song. I don't care if I'm the one singing the main part or if I'm the backup singer to someone else. I just want to be in a recording studio with the earphones and the mic with the little filter screen in front of it. That's be awesome. I really want it to be a song that's played during the credits of a movie. Don't particularly care about the movie either, but preferably one that people I know could actually see. So....pixar it is? Haha

I want to be able to speak multiple languages. I want to learn more languages than I'm sure my brain can possibly hold, but that's not gonna stop me from trying :P I think it'd just be practical to learn Spanish, German, Chinese, and maybe French (blah), but I'd also like to learn Japanese, maybe Zulu, Klingon, just to uphold my nerd image and not lose myself (hahaha.....), and a million others. I want to learn Italian because of music. There are so many cool things about the english language that come from Italian. I want to learn Hebrew so I can read the scriptures without them being translated. I think that'd just be plain cool. Heck, I just wanna be Daniel Jackson. He knew, what, like 26 languages? AND he got to go through the Stargate. Plus, he was always the one the freaky aliens picked on. Did anybody else ever notice that? I thought it was funny. Anyways.....

I want to write a song. I think it'd be cool if I recorded the song that I wrote and it was in a movie. That'd just kill flocks of birds with one stone. Hahaha

I want to be in a disney movie. Call me cheesy, but whatever. I really want to be the voice of an animated character, so if I was the voice of a disney movie character, that'd be just fine with me. As long as the movie was any good.

I want to befriend someone who's accomplished a lot in their life and hardly anyone knows about it. Like some old person that doesn't have any family or anyone to be around. Then I could feel like I did something good, while making an amazing new friend. I love learning things about people that not a lot of people know. It tells so much about a person. The things they do without telling anyone.

I really, really, really want to be in a show on Broadway. Not one that's already famous like Wicked or Hairspray. The problem with those, while they're amazing and I love them, is that people have the soundtracks memorized. Thus, I would either have to sing it exactly like the original cast recording, or people would look at me and be like, HEY! That's wrong! She's singing it wrong! Why didn't anyone tell her?? That would just be a major bummer, because everyone would always be comparing me to that soundtrack and I'd never be recognized for myself. I want to be in a show that does reasonably well, but that not a lot of people have heard of or seen. Preferably something that hasn't been made into a movie yet. Speaking of which, do you think they're gonna make a movie for Wicked? I'm surprised they haven't yet. Maybe they're waiting for it's popularity on Broadway to die down a little bit more. Heck, for all I know they could already be making a movie of it and I just don't know about it.

Now do you understand my problem and panic a little bit more? I mean, if you bothered reading all the way down to here? Hahaha. I want to do these things, but where am I gonna find the time? Where am I gonna find the money? If I do get married before doing all these, where am I gonna find a guy who will do the rest of them with me? Seriously, this is a dilemma. (I always thought dilemma was spelled dilemnia. Is that a word too? That's always bothered me a lot). There are other things that I can do while I have a husband and kids. Some of those things above I can still do with a family, but with most of them, I'd prefer not to. I don't want to be a mom who's never home and always has to find a babysitter for my kids. I want to be a stay at home mom. I have always wanted to write a book, and I still do. I could definitely do that with a family. All I need for that is a computer. Heck, if I was really desperate I wouldn't even need that, although I think I'd kill myself if I had to write the entire thing out by hand......ehh...... I mean, this is something I could do at midnight, in my pajamas. I could do it while my kids are asleep. There's not a schedule. I love things like this because there's no time limit, but for the other things, there is. It would probably be weird to have a 60 year old woman entertaining onstage at Disney, ya? And I probably won't be able to sing nearly as well when I'm older. It would be weird to have someone in a Broadway show who has to walk around with a cane. I mean, there're exceptions, but still. You see my problem? It's ridden with panic!

I've also always thought about going on a mission. I don't feel like that's something I should do now, when I'm 21, but I definitely want to go sometime in my life. Luckily, couple missionaries don't go on missions until all their kids are grown and they're retired, or at least close.

I know a lot, in fact, possibly all of these things are on my list of 100 things I want to do, but here you just get to here some of them in a little more detail. Also, I know that this whole thing sounds totally corny and impossible, but I really think that I could do every single one of these if I tried hard enough. The only problem is getting myself to try hard enough. It will take a LOT of time to learn so many languages, and a lot of these things would require moving away from home for different amounts of time. Plus, they would all cost a motherload! But I still feel like I could do them. I really do. And I really want to. I don't wanna be a sheep!

Oh goody, there's a million kids walking past me in a much too small hallway. I hate that. They all smell nasty. I like kids, but not flocks of them that I don't know. They're all trying to impress each other and be dorks. Bleh. I mean, I like the little kids at Clayton. But there's always those few who you just wanna.......I could never teach elementary school students. I'd have to be one of those dorky high school teachers. I would be tons of fun though, don't you doubt it. Can anyone say frooties?? Heck yes, guess what!?!? They TOTALLY sell frooties at Maceys! Who knew? I've only ever found them at this party store in Lehi and online. I was pretty sure those were the only places they sold them. Maybe the popularity of them won out and now they're selling them in more places? That would just make me so freaking happy. I hope it's the same at the Maceys back in Murray. I hope this isn't just a Provo thing. Otherwise I'm gonna have to stock up major time.

In a land called Honalee

2009-02-19T15:41:00.000-08:00

So my friend and I have been joking recently about my Halloween costume in first grade. I dressed up as a dinosaur, and I have to say that the costume was pretty freakin sweet. It made me upset though, because everyone was under the misconception that I was Puff the Magic Dragon. Who was this Puff fellow anyways I wondered? I had never heard of him, and I was really quite annoyed that everyone was mistaking me for him! I was a DINOSAUR, thank you very much....

Anyways, my friend and I were reminiscing about this just the other day and she laughed because I still had no idea who Puff was. I thought I did, but apparently I was confused with Pete's Dragon. So many Dragons, so little time....But I have just been shown the error of my ways. She showed me the video with the song about Puff the Magic Dragon (Just a song, who knew? I thought it was a movie or something.)

It's a really melancholy song. I liked it, but it left me feeling a little lonely. Here it starts out as this fun upbeat song about imagination and fantasy, but ends up with Puff being left all alone for eternity. His friend that he had grown up with, who was a human, had died. Puff was immortal and from then on lived by himself in a cave. Who writes songs like these? I don't know why it was so sad to me, but whatever. Here's the link for it too, so you can all watch it and feel sad like I did. Hahaha.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wik2uc69WbU

Devil's Dance Floor

2009-02-17T19:53:00.000-08:00

So I am most definitely putting off doing my homework right now. I have nothing particularly interesting to talk about right now, but I just have to share how brilliantly terrible I was at teaching today. This little mishap took place in my Book of Mormon class at BYU. In this class, my teacher has each of us teach one lesson, and today was my turn. Unfortunately.

Anyways, I had read through the material and had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to say, but when it came time to do it, I went INSANE! Seriously!! I couldn't remember what the heck I was talking about or what the heck I had planned. Everything I said was out of order and nothing I said made any sense. The TA was kind enough to help me out by being my translator. Haha....

It was one of those situations where I could tell that everyone else in the class (all five of them) felt bad for me and were getting nervous for me as well. They were all squirming and it kind of made me want to laugh. I'm more of a people observer, so having to be the one in charge and not being able to allow myself to get distracted by them is very difficult for me.

Actually, that's not the difficult part. The difficult part is doing that while still trying to make sense. That's something that I struggle with anyways. In retrospect, I see now that this is something I need to practice. Apparently I don't speak in public much. My bad.

It's ironic that I had such a hard time today. I've taught classes before, and I've performed in front of thousands of people for years. It's not like I was nervous. I just couldn't think of anything good to say, or a good way to say it. Blah. It's something that's never happened to me before. I felt like I was a little kid who just got up to bear my testimony and froze, then had to have my mom run up and whisper in my ear. The only problem was that there was no one whispering in my ear today. Just the whisper of nothing being said as we all sat there awkwardly while I tried to figure out what to talk about next.

I laughed about it, and everyone took it well. It wasn't embarrassing or anything, just a little...disappointing I guess. I'll get over it soon enough. This was just an example to me that I need to practice speaking in public a little more often. I can write a talk and have it make perfect sense. It can be as long as I want it to and it will still flow well. Speaking out loud though, I tend to speak more in a stream of consciousness. I think of things, and start saying them, but then I start thinking about what I should say next and forget what I'm saying now. It's kind of strange, but I'll work on it.

One day you will all be impressed by my mad improvisational speaking skills. Less by the skills and more by the consistency. Or maybe it'll just be me who's impressed, but that's just fine with me. Any suggestions?

Run Llama, Run!

2009-02-12T23:16:00.003-08:00

So I've just decided that I desperately want to

112) Pet a zebra

Just thought I'd let ya'll know.

Triangle Man

2009-02-11T16:30:00.000-08:00

So I'm sitting around in the Wilkinson Center on BYU's campus, and there's this group of little boys eating next to me. They keep throwing plastic forks. It sounds annoying, but it's actually really funny. Mostly funny because the people in charge of them are getting really super exasperated. Yay for being immature! I wanna play too.......

I've had the song Particle Man stuck in my head for a while now. I find it ironic that it's called Particle Man when Triangle Man hates Particle Man. They have a fight, Triangle wins. I feel like Particle Man has been officially jipped! Universe Man too. Triangle Man, I mean, really? Settle down dude. It's not like you're that cool. What's your super power? You're pointy? Oh boy, I'm terrified. Particle Man could have all kinds of cool powers, and just think about Universe Man. He could do anything! He's like SuperMan! Stupid Triangle Man. I've also found a new friend. His name is Sombrero Man. You should visit him at GoButtonAnimation.com He goes by the alias "Capt. Kill," but don't be fooled. He is most definitely Sombrero Man.

So I thought of a really cool story idea while I was cleaning the bathroom the other day. Random, I know, but such is my life. Get over it. It's pretty exciting, and solves a lot of the issues I was having with coming up with a satisfactory story. I kinda combined them all and mingled in a few ideas from some of my choice nerdy television shows that I'm addicted to. You don't get to know what my idea is though, bahahaha! Suckers.

I had my blood drawn for the first time yesterday. I was trying so hard to hold my arm still that I think the girl thought I was going into shock or something. Haha, fooled her. I was just really focused on not twitching, and I think it was freaking her out that I was watching her draw the blood too. It was kind of cool, once I got over the initial FREAKING OUT part. I'm excited though, too, because now I'm going to get to know what my blood type is. It's something that isn't important for me to know, but I'm really, really curious. It's like my own true name from Eragon (an amazing book by the way, read it). Haha, maybe not quite, but same idea for me.

I've decided that I want to be ambidextrous, so I've been practicing the past couple days. I've also been practicing texting and typing with one hand. Ya, I usually text with two hands. Call me a freak if you want. :( Haha, it's kind of fun though. I'm sitting here typing on my computer with my left hand and eating and texting with my right. It's an adventure, and while I'm sure people think I'm a freak, but I don't particularly care. I already know I'm a freak and I like it!

So my quote for this blog is:

"It's easier to persuade people to do what's wrong than it is to persuade people who are doing what's wrong to do right."

I liked this because while it's something that we've all been taught most of our lives, it's said very....succinctly. It IS easy to talk people into doing what's wrong, and it's even easier to let yourself be talked into doing what's wrong. Then, when you're doing what's wrong, it's even harder to start doing what's right again because you don't want to face the consequences and judgements of others. It's a scary place to be, and it's also one of the main reasons that I'm trying my best to surround myself with people who will be an example and not try to persuade me into doing what's wrong. Also, I'm trying to get to know myself and be comfortable enough with myself that even if I have to face those judgements of others, I won't be bothered by them. I should be more worried about what's right than what other people think is right. The end. :D Yay!

Goals:

110) Be ambidextrous

111) Type and text with one hand. Buahaha!

Why Do I Sing?....Why Do You Breathe?

2009-02-02T23:46:00.000-08:00

I know this is my billionth blog today, but I really have nothing better to do. Hahaha......So yesterday I was driving back to Provo listening to Michael Jackson on my ipod. Since I haven't been doing Clayton the past few months, I haven't been singing and dancing hardly at all. I had forgotten a little how much I love it! I've started taking voice lessons with a professor at BYU (Sorry Kim! I'm not a traitor, I promise!) and it has given me a little bit of hope that I'll be able to accomplish all the goals that I set for myself that I have been too embarrassed to share with other people.

I love to sing, and I really want to do something amazing with that. I've been wondering recently whether I would love singing as much if I had never joined Clayton. I guess I'll never know, but I hope that it wouldn't change. Maybe I'd be a theatre geek or something.....that's probably the most likely.

So as I was driving in my car I had this big burst of ambition, and I want to hold onto that. I could really go far if I put all my effort into it. I've never really put that much effort into anything (I'm not trying to sound snotty or anything).....I'm kind of lazy by default, which has created problems......but then again I'm never really stressed. Hahaha..... Someone told me recently that I was one of the hardest workers that they know, and that really surprised me. It made me want to do better. If they thought that I was working hard and was growing and developing, imagine how much more I would get out of everything if I put all of my effort into it? I felt a little guilty when I heard this, as well as a little happy. If I start putting all my effort into everything, start reading my scriptures more often, start saying my prayers consistently, and do my best rather than just doing what's expected, how much happier will I be?

So I've kind of strayed from the main topic, but it's all connected for me. I've just realized recently that if I were to sing like I could, by getting out of my comfort zone and by practicing and implementing everything that I'm taught, I think that I could really improve to the point that I want to. I would like that. Not that I'd be amazing or anything, but I want to be as good as I can be, and I know that I'm not right now. I'm not working hard enough to be.

Someone once said that having potential basically means, you suck right now, but you could be good if you tried. So whenever I think that I have potential, it's always kind of a negative thing for me, but that's how I feel right now. I'm not adequate in my own mind because I'm not trying, even though I know I have potential. Why have something if I'm not gonna do anything with it?

So this applies to a lot of things, not just singing for me. Things like school as well. I settle for mediocre grades or I just memorize things by rote other than actually understanding them. If I were to put all my effort into learning, how much better would I do? How much more would I know right now? A LOT!!

I remember a talk I heard at EFY about fulfilling the measure of our creation. That's actually where I first heard the idea of making a list of 100 things I want to do in my life, and I even stole a couple of things from his list and added them to mine (They're still things that I erally want to do though). I CAN accomplish all of the things on that list, but I'm going to have to put a lot of effort into it for years and years to come. I have to fulfill the measure of my creation.

Quotes and Goals

2009-02-02T23:38:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite quotes is a poem by Marianne Williamson. It's a poem that has been posted up on the wall of the Clayton studio for years and years, and Kim always read it to inspire us. I didn't really care until a couple years ago when I actually read it seriously. Now it's one of my favorite things.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyong measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some fo us; it's in everyone,

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Goals:

105) Be a friendlier person

106) Be more of a girl! :P

107) Glowstick someones yard in the middle of the night

108) Design and make my own t-shirt

109) Learn to play the old school Mario theme song on the piano

I Got Sunshine!

2009-02-02T23:07:00.000-08:00

So the past few weeks have been amazing for me, and surprisingly emotional, which is weird...... I've been thinking about how unhappy I am in Provo, and how I don't have many friends out here that I do things with. Thinking about that, I thought about how I never really did anything with anybody in Murray even when I was there, so why is it so different for me now?

The past few weekends I've gone home and I've made an effort to do something with as many of my friends as I had time to. It has been the most amazing experience for me. I realize now how much I've taken these friends for granted. Stacey, who inadvertantly teaches me something important every time I'm with her and makes me want to be better; Natalie, has been one of the only constants in my life and has patiently listened to me whine and ramble more than almost anyone else; Megan, who has seen me in some of my worst moods and is still my friend :P, and who will do the embarrassing, random, immature things with me without making me feel like a freak; Britney, who I realize I in fact never knew very well, but who I still consider as one of my best friends because she puts up with my nerdiness without flinching; Sarah, who even though she is much younger than me has always been an example for me through her smile and her friendliness. There are a lot of others, but these are the ones that I have been around the most and who make me the happiest to be around. There are of course my brother and my sister. Adam became my best friend after he got back from his mission, when I was actually old enough to provide him with semi-interesting conversation :P He is just as much of a nerd as me, and is the best brother I can imagine. I don't think I could have a better relationship with him and I'm very grateful for him every day of my life. I'm going to be sad when either of us gets married and moves out for good. Hopefully we'll be close our whole lives so that we can get together and be freaks. Ashley is my big sister, even though sometimes it doesn't feel that way ;P I know that I've never treated her how I should, and I always regret that. One of my biggest hopes is that I'll be able to become greater friends with her and be closer to her in the future. She influenced me a lot when I was younger, and now it's my turn to do the same. I hope that she knows how much I love her, even if I act embarrassed or condescending. That's what sisters are for, right....?

My friends are such great examples of how I should be, and I aspire to be like them more now than ever. I always kind of depended on myself for everything, but now I realize how important it is to depend on strong friends. I used to think I knew everything. Now I know that I'm ridiculous, but it's still shocking to me how backwards everything got after high school. So many people changed because they no longer had to hold onto the expectations that they had with their friends, who they saw every day. It's a lot easier to drop the ball when you don't have the expectations of others to live up to and learn from. Although I'm not saying that we should be influenced by how others think we should be, but I'm meaning that it's a lot easier to do things that would have been unacceptable just a year ago knowing that I won't have to face anyone and feel guilty. Like watching rated R movies. That is a big one for me. Not that I've gone crazy and started watching them, but it would be so easy to rationalize if I did. I've been having a really hard time not getting caught in that. In high school, when asked if I would watch a bad movie or if I would be the example and walk out, I would've said, walk out! Of course! But now that I'm somewhere where watching rated R movies is a common thing, it's a lot harder to hold to my standards. I guess that's one of the problems of growing up in such a strongly LDS community. I've been taking for granted the people around me.

I've recently also been having a problem with what I call "life boredom." My brother called it the "post-mission depression." The problem is that I have nothing major to work for right now. Sure, I'm going to college and I'm working for a degree, and I plan to get married in a few years, but those are both such long term things. I have nothing immediate to look forward to and to keep me motivated. I've graduated from high school, I've gotten my license, I've moved out, all that jazz. I've decided that I should set some short term goals to keep myself busy. One of those goals is to do more things with my friends. Like I said before, I never really did things with people during high school (Clayton being the major exception to this whole thing). I was asked to do things a lot, and I pretty much always said, no thank you :D People stopped inviting me because they knew I would say no. Irrationally, this made me kind of sad. It's what I would have done in their place, and why keep bothering to ask me if they know I'm just gonna struggle to come up with a lame reason why I don't want to? I realized that I have to start saying YES if I want to stay good friends with people. Hence the busy weekends I've been having lately. It's a little belated, but I'm having a lot of fun. I should try being social more often! Hahaha

Everybody's talking about their New Year's resolutions lately, and that's something that I've never been into much. I decided that in place of that I would do the list of things I want to do sometime in my life, and then just start working on that. That will help with my life boredom too, hopefully :P It should be fun! I'm trying to get as many people as I can to make their own, because I think it's more fun to work on them with other people. Like a couple of my friends have never had an all-nighter! That's just sad, and I would be more than willing to do something random like go glow-stick someone's yard in the middle of the night and then stay up watching movies and making mutant cookies all night with them! That would take care of something on both of our lists! I'm really excited to start working on mine, as weird as that is. I feel like I'm getting more and more immature as the days go on....it's fun! ;)

Sad Day

2009-02-01T18:29:00.000-08:00

I feel like a little kid whose mom just brought home a new baby. I feel unloved....:P Ah well, I'll get over it. I'm just used to being the baby. I also just found out that Neil Patrick Harris is gay. That's a bummer. I also was informed that he played Doogie Howser, M.D. as a child. I got on Hulu.com and checked it out, and it turns out that they have every episode online. It makes me happy :D They're funny because they're so old school, haha. I'm enjoying them so far.

Quotes and Goals

2009-02-01T02:01:00.001-08:00

Then I'll still fill you with crumpets, madam.

104) Learn to speak Klingon fluently

Quotes and Goals

2009-01-31T01:46:00.000-08:00

This is my quote for today, thanks to Megan and Natalie who put up with me tonight even though I was being a total wacko:

It's like a rainbow of GLOW!

Some goals that I would like to add to my list are:

101) Be in Beauty and the Beast on Broadway

102) Be in a production of Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat

103) Have a life....

Rule the world.....well anyway

2009-01-31T01:38:00.000-08:00

So I just watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-along blog. It was amazing. I didn't know that it was written by Joss Whedon, which made it so much better for me. He is one of my favorite directors/producers, mainly because of his series Firefly and the corresponding movie Serenity. Those are both a must see for anybody out there. Seriously, go watch them. Now. I'm also a big fan of Nathan Fillion, who has had a rather depressing career. Basically every show that I've seen him in has for some reason flopped before the end of the first season. This makes me really sad because they turned out to be some of my favorites. One of the more recent ones was the tv series Drive, which came out a couple years ago. It ended up being cancelled, and I was very disappointed. It was one of the only shows that I actually bothered to watch on tv each week. Oh well, I guess some things just don't work out the way they should. I was a little disappointed to see him playing such a creep though, but at least there was singing! I had no idea that Neil Patrick Harris could sing. I was seriously impressed, he has an amazing voice. I also loved the songs, which doesn't mean much coming from me since I like pretty much any music, but these songs were really amazing. They were fun and had a lot of meaning, which is always a good combination. Plus, even though the words were kind of cheesy at times, they were surprisingly clever and the music itself was phenomenal. Overall it had some of the best music I've personally ever heard. I wish that there was more, rather than just a 45 minute episode. At least Nathan Fillion didn't get cancelled in the middle of it though, hahaha.

Hello!!

2009-01-29T21:21:00.000-08:00

Well howdy world! How goes? I've decided, reluctantly, to enter the wonderful world of blogging. I figure I have no life anyways, so I might as well feel like I'm doing something productive once in a while, yes? So anyways, I think for my first post I'm gonna steal Celeste's idea and write up a list of things I wanna do in my life (Sorry Celeste, I stole a few of your individual ideas too, but a lot of them were already the same :P). Whether it's 100 I don't really care. I'll add to it as I go along. Also, these are in no particular order, just the order I think of them.

1) Touch a live alligator/crocodile

2) Part one: Skydive (Check!)

Part two: Get my skydiving license

3) Fall in love

4) Get married (These two are in order, haha)

5) Be in a movie

6) Be in a music video (Preferably my OWN music video :D)

7) Backpack across Europe

8) Visit Hungary

9) Learn over five languages fluently

10) Go on a cruise

11) Be in a show on Broadway

12) Write a book

13) Have a Chinese firedrill when I'm NOT the driver!

14) Fork someones yard

15) Learn to scuba dive (Whether I actually do it after I learn is yet to be decided)

16) Learn to do a standing backflip

17) Do a backflip after running up a wall

18) Slackline without falling

19) Watch every movie I've ever wanted to see

20) Become a ninja! Seriously

21) Be the voice of an animated character in a movie

22) Be on a talk show (A good one like Ellen or Jay Leno)

23) Have my own private library

24) Live in another country for over a month

25) Go to Tibet to listen to the monks singing

26) Visit Georgia (The country, not the state)

27) Live in Japan (This is separate from #24)

28) Be a dancer in a music video

29) Become famous anonymously

30) Buy a house with cash

31) Paint a house

32) Go hanggliding

33) Win at Risk

34) Have a salt water and a fresh water fishtank

35) Rent a store in the mallj

36) Rent a place for the night and invite all my friends (like Some Dudes or something)

37) Have a swimming pool

38) Have a trampoline

39) See a total solar eclipse

40) See an annular solar eclipse

41) Have the sun pass directly over my head

42) Come up with a cool new science fiction/fantasy story that could rival Harry Potter

43) Dye my hair (Temporary only, so chill)

44) Get a fake tan (This would go well with the dyed hair, just to freak people out)

45) Ride in a helicopter

46) Get a passport (Check!)

47) Pull an all-nighter outside

48) Sleep for more than 24 hours

49) Get a degree in Astronomy

50) Get a degree in Linguistics

51) Get a degree in Music

52) Teach dance

53) Play the piano amazingly

54) Play the violin

55) Play the guitar

56) Play the trumpet

57) Make my own quilt/blanket

58) Learn how to decorate cakes and make someones wedding cake

59) Be a bridesmaid

60) Go to every state and take a picture of myself in the capital

61) Become a photographer

62) Make thousands of people cry for joy (Tears....but happy!)

63) Learn how to shoot a gun (A nice contrast from the last one :P)

64) Work for the CIA

65) Be able to jump higher than a car

66) Own a hotel

67) Live in a hotel

68) Have a redheaded kid :D

69) Adopt a kid

70) Have twins

71) Have a nickname that sticks

72) Design clothes

73) Draw better

74) Learn to play the drums

75) Learn to play the harmonica

76) Learn how to use computer programs like photoshop...

77) Be able to do the middle splits

78) Write my own song and have it published

79) Record a CD

80) Ride a gondola in Venice

81) Go river rafting

82) Swing on a vine!

83) Meet someone who's older and reclusive and learn their story

84) Be friendly to everyone I meet

85) Dress up like a character from the matrix and walk around and make people nervous

86) Follow someone with a professional camera and see if people think they're famous

87) Meet the prophet

88) Have a drinking fountain in my house

89) Have a waterfall in my backyard

90) Have a building with a river running through it

91) Go into space

92) Stay at a Benedictine monastery (If girls are allowed to)

93) Go on an African safari

94) Write my own Sing-Along Blog

95) Be in a band

96) Dress in futuristic clothes for a week (Like a silver jumpsuit :D)

97) Spend the entire day handcuffed to someone

98) Play tetris for an entire night straight

99) Watch all the Star Wars movies in a row

100) Be in a TV series